


Working His Way Back

by irena_adler



Series: Watson [34]
Category: Numb3rs
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Porn, Angst with a Happy Ending, Asian-American Character, Bad BDSM Etiquette, Banter, Baseball, Biting, Cooking, Couch Sex, Denial of Feelings, Developing Relationship, Endearments, Falling In Love, Gay Sex, Hair Kink, Heroes & Heroines, Intense, Kissing, Light Dom/sub, Love Confessions, M/M, Morning Sex, Nipple Play, Obsession, Oral Sex, Past Drug Addiction, Power Play, Rimming, Romance, Rough Sex, Self-Doubt, Sexual Tension, Stupidity, Teasing, True Love, Truth, Wall Sex, Worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-06-01 18:05:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 41,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15148820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irena_adler/pseuds/irena_adler
Summary: Will tries to get over his obsession with Don, but every step leads him deeper.(Will's POV of 'Looking for Love,' Parts 18-22, starting at the fateful baseball game and going through the intense events (angst/sex/love) of the next two days, plus a few time-jump chapters at the end.)





	1. Last Minute Prep

**Author's Note:**

> **What Happens in the Watson 'verse before this story:**
> 
>  
> 
> David and Colby talk Don into joining them as a fuck-buddy. Don struggles with discovering his bisexuality, but begins to develop an exclusive, romantic relationship with Colby. Colby, however, has always had his eye on the other Eppes, and when Colby and Charlie have a life-threatening experience together, realize that they are meant for each other. 
> 
>  
> 
> Colby tries to let Don down easily, but Don is devastated that he not only has lost Colby, but has lost him to his ever-privileged little brother. Don begins a self-destructive spiral that leads him to an unscrupulous BDSM club, where he doesn’t understand the process or his role. His attempts to feel anything through the numbness almost get him killed by a brutal, blood-thirsty Dom named Channing. A DEA raid comes at just the right time to save his life.
> 
>  
> 
> That raid was called by DEA superstar, Will Stevens, who had been impressed the first time he saw Don at an interagency briefing and had been keeping an eye on Don while Will was undercover. He rescues the brutalized Don from the club and takes him home, saving Don’s life and his reputation. Don is unsure about this stranger taking care of him, but is too weak to protest. After he survives the first dangerous 24 hours, Don wonders why Will is helping him. Will admits that he is very attracted to Don, and, to the surprise of both of them, Don decides that the explanation makes him more comfortable. They quickly begin to develop a real friendship and mutual appreciation. Will reveals some of his very damaged past, to try and help Don with his own shame.
> 
>  
> 
> Will nurses Don back to health for almost a week, with Don going to work during the day to act as if nothing happened. Don kisses Will and Will kisses Don and they both look forward to more, once Don is healed.
> 
>  
> 
> However, when Will finds out that Don has been going out on FBI raids with his team, he lights into him about endangering others. Don responds with personal things about Will that he’s learned and the fight quickly escalates into an ugly exchange of words. Don swears he never wants to see Will again and storms out in a very final way.
> 
>  
> 
> Once Will cools down, he realizes how much he wants to see Don again, and decides that the only way he can make it happen is to get good enough at pitching to meet Don on the baseball field for the interagency baseball game. 
> 
>  
> 
> That was four months ago.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will isn't sure why he's doing this.

**Part 1: Last Minute Prep**

Will Stevens stared in the clubhouse mirror and wondered whether Don Eppes was worth it. For the last four months Will had been working his ass off to turn himself into a pitcher, good enough for the DEA baseball squad, so he could see Don. The whole point had been to maneuver himself into a position where he'd see Don again. Now it was the second game of the season and his work as a relief pitcher in the DEA's game against LAPD was sufficient to get him a spot as starting pitcher for the DEA's game against the FBI. He was standing in the baseball clubhouse, looking at himself in the mirror and wondering why the hell he was here. 

Yes, Don Eppes was intense and gorgeous, smart and funny. But there were plenty of other men who fit that bill. It was LA, after all - gorgeous men were a dime a dozen. Smart and good with a gun was a little harder, but not impossible. Why had he gotten so fixated on a man who wasn't even out? Who was so conflicted about his bisexuality that he'd nearly committed suicide in an unethical BDSM dungeon? Not to mention a man who was desperately in love with his brother's lover and had said some things to Will that Will wasn't sure he could ever forgive. 

He'd only seen Don once since they fought, four months ago, and that was only from a distance. His obsession hadn't faded, though. That was really why he was here. He needed to see Don again, and see that, outside the intense situation where they had met, Don was really just another pretty face. Then Will could let go of this stupid obsession and get on with his life. 

Will nodded to himself in the mirror and pulled his long hair back into a hair tie. He put on his baseball cap, slid his pony tail out the back of the hat, and turned to go. Something caught his eye - his wallet that he'd forgotten to put in his locker. He picked it up and took it to his locker. About to put it on the shelf, he hesitated then opened the wallet. Tucked inside was one of Don's old baseball cards from when he'd played pro ball. Will looked at the image of the young, smiling Don as he had so many times in the last four months. He shoved the card back into his wallet with a sense of relief. It would be the last time he'd look at it except when he was throwing it away. 

"Today's been too long coming, Don," he murmured. "It's high time to say goodbye." 


	2. Warmup and Pep Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will needs help from a friend - and from an old persona.

  


**Part 2: Warmup and Pep Talk**

Will picked up his mitt and went out to the bull pen. It was a nice facility, belonging to one of the LA minor league teams, and the federal league department teams worked around the minor league team's schedule. Simon, the DEA's star catcher, was already in the pen, stretching. 

Simon grinned at him. "Hey, Will, decide you wanted to pitch today, after all? Or were you just primping in there?" 

Will gave him a mock glare and went to pick up a ball. Simon got in his crouch and Will tossed a few easy pitches to him. Then he went into his full windup and threw full speed at Simon's catcher's mitt. 

"So, today's the day, eh?" Simon said. 

Will jerked in surprise and his fastball went sailing over Simon's head. Simon laughed. "C'mon, do you think I'm an idiot? You didn't just get into pitching to save the DEA's honor on the baseball diamond. You had a goal, a _personal_ goal, and you might have had today circled in red for how obvious it was." 

Will winced. He prided himself on being subtle and sneaky. 

Simon seemed to sense his discomfort. "Hey, we've been spending enough time together, getting you into pitching shape, that it was obvious. No one else guessed. But as payment for all those extra hours catching, you're now going to have to tell me why." 

"After the game?" Will asked. "I promise I'll spill all then. Right now I need to concentrate." 

"Okay, but I'm holding you to it." 

"Thanks," Will said, then added, "And thanks for everything. I know I was a little rough when we started…" 

"Hah!" Simon snorted. "I should get a medal for whipping you into game shape." 

"Yes, alright," Will admitted, loath as he was to acknowledge how out of shape he'd been. 

"Looking forward to my explanation," Simon said cheerfully. "I bet it's a helluva story." 

Will muttered, "A story I'm anxious to end." 

"What?" 

"Nothing, let's just try a few curveballs." 

 

Warm-up finished, Will nodded to Simon and they headed out onto the field. Will's eyes went straight to the FBI dugout and landed right on Don. 

It was like a punch to the gut. 

He stumbled and pulled up. He bent down and pretended to tie his shoe. 

Meanwhile his heart was racing, his breathing was short and tight. "Damn, damn, damn," he growled. Just the sight of Don was enough to knock him flat. He'd forgotten - deliberately covered over - how much Don affected him. 

"No," he said through gritted teeth. "It's just the _idea_ of him. That's why you're here, to dispel that fantasy. Now get the hell up and go pitch." 

As he shifted to pretend to tie his other shoe, Will did what he'd been doing in some way all his life - he reached for a persona to hide behind. 

No one had needed to train Will Stevens how to go undercover. He'd been pretending to be different people since he was a child, since he discovered that he was gay and that his mother hated him for it. At home, he was the perfect Asian son, polite, deferential, academically stellar. At school, he was who he needed to be to survive a brutally anti-gay environment. When he graduated high school and was kicked out of his home anyway, he learned the true meaning of surviving and hiding himself as he traveled down a long spiral of sex and drugs and abuse. By the time that he was rescued from that situation and got himself cleaned up, he wasn't even sure who the real Will Stevens was. He caught glimpses of him over the years, like when he decided to get a Sociology degree instead of going to medical school as his parents wanted, and when he ruined his one good romantic relationship by deciding to join the DEA. And when he pulled one very broken Don Eppes out of a hellhole that Don had put himself in. 

A Don Eppes who someone was more dangerous than anyone he'd ever met in his danger-filled life. 

"Hey, Will!" someone called. "You okay?" 

"Yeah," he called back. "I'm just not used to cleats. They keep loosening up." 

Simon came over and looked at his shoes. "They look fine." Simon lowered his voice and said, "You can do this." 

"Thanks," Will mumbled. He straightened up and continued his walk toward the mound. 

When Will had been in high school, he'd been tall and skinny and Asian, so one of his more pleasant nicknames had been Chopsticks. To the few friends he had, he was just Sticks Stevens - a too-smart, supremely confident wise-ass. Nothing could faze Sticks. 

Will settled the persona of Sticks Stevens around his shoulders and got ready to pitch. 


	3. The View from the Mound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will finally gets his chance to face Don.

  


**Part 3: The View from the Mound**

Will as Sticks Stevens got through the first inning without once looking over at Don. He focused on the hitters in front of him and on Simon catching the balls at home base and giving him the signals. The DEA team got out the first three hitters in order, due more to strong defense behind him than any great pitching on his part. It was a relief when they got those quick three outs since Don was due to bat fourth. 

As Will headed to the dugout to wait for his next turn to pitch, he kept his eyes turned forward even when Don ran by him. Will wasn't ready for eye contact yet. 

Safely in the dugout, Will could watch Don play. Don's position was first base, where a lot of the action of a baseball game happens, so Will hoped he didn't look too strange watching him. God, Don looked good in that uniform. He even liked Don's new super-short haircut, though he missed that strangely spiky hair. Will drunk in the sight of him - standing straight and pain-free. The last time he'd seen him up close, four months ago, Don had only been a few days past a terrible torture session. If that torture was something Don brought on himself, that didn't make the damage any less devastating. When Will had pulled Don out of that brutal cement dudgeon, Don's entire body had been covered with bruises, deep cuts, lacerations, welts, and first and second degree burns. He also had some pretty significant anal tearing and two shattered fingers. He'd lost a great deal of blood and probably could have used a blood transfusion but Will, in a strange fugue of desperation to save Don's career and reputation as well as his life, had taken Don home instead of a hospital. He'd nursed him back to health while they'd shared a few wonderful days of humor and comradery, then they'd fought and Will hadn't seen Don since, except from a distance at one of Professor Eppes's forums. 

Will watched Don move, catching balls easily, throwing with strength and precision, always in the right place just like a major league first baseman. He didn't know why Don quit baseball, but Will was glad he had. While Don might look at home on the baseball diamond, Will knew that he was even better in the FBI. 

The DEA part of the first inning went fast as well, with the first three hitters going down in order. Suddenly it was time for Will to go back out to the mound, to face Don the way he'd been working towards for so long, and he wasn't ready. 

Will walked slowly out to the mound. He picked up the rosin bag and got his fingers tacky for a good grip on the baseball. He tossed it behind the mound and, taking a deep breath, turned to face home plate. Will reached for his persona of Sticks Stevens to get him through this. 

Don took a few practice swings then stepped into the batter's box. Will still avoided eye contact, swearing under his breath at himself for being a coward. Simon gave him the sign for a high, outside fastball. Will nodded and got ready to throw. 

Then he finally met Don's eyes. 

Don looked coolly back. 

Anger, sharp and hot, rushed into Will. This man had turned Will's world upside down and he didn't even care. 

The ball came out of Will's hand at 85 miles an hour, straight at Don's head. 

Will tried to cry out a warning, but the ball reached home plate before he could react. 

Don threw himself to the ground and the ball sailed over him. Will gasped in relief. Simon stood up and stared at Will, but Will's eyes were on Don in the dirt. Don got up slowly, though he didn't seem to be injured. He glared out at Will, but the glare had little heat to it. With that expression, he looked so much like the Don that Will remembered from those days when Will was his nursemaid that Will had to suppress a smile. He made an apologetic gesture and babbled something about the ball slipping. But his pulse was now pounding. 

Don brushed off his uniform, told the umpire that he was fine, and got back into the box. This time Will followed Simon's sign and threw a fastball, high and outside. Don fouled it off, and the next two pitches as well. Simon signaled for a change-up pitch, low and tight inside. 

As soon as the ball left his hand, Will could tell he'd thrown it straight down the center. Don's bat connected perfectly and set the ball blazing… 

…straight back at Will. 

Will reached out with his mitt, trying to catch the ball and avoid at the same time, and somehow he ended up on the ground. 

He got back to his feet, looked over at Don who was standing casually on first base, and couldn't help the smile on his face. Don gave a 'sorry' sign but looked completely unapologetic and was even trying not to smile back. 

_Oh, it's on…_ Will thought with glee. 

When the next FBI hitter got up to bat, Don stepped away from first base towards second. Will gave him a warning glance, and Don sauntered back to the base. Will turned back to the hitter, trying to concentrate on Simon's signs. Don kept moving in his peripheral vision. 

Will stepped off the pitcher's rubber and eyed Don. Don scooted back towards base. Will shook his head and turned towards the hitter. He nodded at Simon, then threw towards home. The FBI batter swung and missed, and Simon grabbed the ball and threw it smoothly towards second base. But when Will turned around, it was to see that Don was safe on second with a slide. He stood up, dusting himself off and gave Will a cocky grin. 

Will raised his eyebrows and inclined his head, acknowledging Don's temporary triumph. Will wanted to continue standing, exchanging looks with Don, but he forced himself to turn back around to face home plate. He felt Don at his back, ready to move. 

It wasn't as easy to throw behind himself to second, though, so Will had to concentrate on the hitter instead. Following Simon's signs, Will struck this hitter out. Don stayed put, but Will knew he wouldn't stay long. 

The next FBI hitter came up to bat and Will got ready to throw home, but before he started his motion, Don was off and running towards third. Will spun and threw the ball straight to third. Don slid face first, but the ball got there first and he was tagged out. 

Don stood up, brushed the dirt off his uniform, and gave Will a pouting glare. Will grinned and pointed towards for Don to take his seat back in the dugout. Through the rushing in his ears, Will could faintly hear the cheers from his team and groans from Don's. It broke a cardinal rule of base-running to get thrown out at third base, but Will doubted that Don cared. For a brief moment, the only game had been the one between him and Will. 

Will watched Don run back to the dugout, with Don shaking his head and accepting the teasing from his teammates. Will didn't even hear Simon come up to him. 

Simon was chuckling. "Get your man?" he asked as he handed the baseball to Will. 

"Not yet," Will grinned at him. 

"Good, good. Now can we get two more outs?" 

Will nodded, schooled his face and turned back to his official task. He invoked Sticks Stevens, who had for some reason been completely absent while Don was on the field, and Will was able to concentrate on getting one more out for their side. 

Well, somewhat concentrate. The number six hitter got a single and the number seven hitter fouled off nine balls before Simon was finally able to catch one. Will left the field and Don came out. This time when they passed, their eyes met briefly and Will felt a tingle. 

Simon was shaking his head as Will came into the dugout. 

"You playing the rest of the game, Will?" Simon asked. "Or are you done? We could bring in Martinez…." 

"No, sorry, I'm okay," Will said. "I just need a minute." 

Simon gave him a pat on the shoulder. "You're batting at the bottom of the lineup, so we'll try to give you a good long rest." 

"Thanks," Will said, but his eyes were already sliding over to Don. 


	4. A Moment on the Bases

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An opportunity for a conversation.

**Part 4: A Moment on the Bases**

Will watched Don as the DEA team batted in the bottom of the second. So much for getting rid of his obsession easily. While he hadn't intended the original pitch that nearly beaned Don, the interplay afterwards had been so natural and fun that Will had to remind himself that he hardly knew Don. Why did it feel like he'd known Don forever and like Don smiling at him had been sunshine to his soul? 

Will swore under his breath. This was not going at all how he planned. Talk to Don, that's what he needed. This animal attraction would end as soon as they shared some inane conversation. 

It looked like Don wanted to talk as well. Will didn't think it was his imagination that Don was looking towards the DEA dugout more often than necessary. 

Despite Simon's efforts, the bottom half of the second inning went quickly and Will was soon back out on the mound, passing by Don with that quick exchange of looks and energy. 

Will slammed Sticks Stevens down hard over himself and focused on the game. His team had given him this opportunity to see Don, and they didn't deserve less than his best. He set the three batters down in order, and finished the top of the inning with the score still zero to zero. 

Simon clapped him on the shoulder as he went back into the dugout. "Good inning," he said, though he was really saying thanks for Will getting his head back into the game. 

Two DEA batters went down in the bottom of the third and it was Will's turn to bat. As he came up to bat, the FBI catcher, a woman, gave him long, thoughtful look. Will flushed, unsure what to make of it, but the catcher pulled down her mask and got into her crouch behind home plate. Will stepped into the box and fixed his eyes on the FBI pitcher, no matter how much his eyes wanted to shift to first base. 

Will got lucky and made contact with the first pitch. The ball bounced towards first base and Will ran hard to get there before it did. Don backed up and caught the ball on one hop. They raced towards the base, but Will got there a step before Don. 

Don tossed the ball back to the pitcher while Will returned to stand on the base. They didn't look at each other. Will felt a strange trembling in his chest and tried to figure out what to say. He knew he didn't have long before the game moved him away. 

Will cleared his throat and said, "Been a while, Eppes." 

"Too long," Don said quietly. 

Startled at the heartfelt acknowledgement, Will's eyes shot to Don. He quickly yanked them away. He thought at the moment he could handle eye contact or talking, but not both. 

"How are you doing?" Will asked, trying not to put too much meaning into the question - and failing. It came out as a serious inquiry instead of casual conversation. 

Don's reply seemed just as serious. "I'm doing okay," he said, then changed it to "Doing good." It was like he was trying to reassure Will, like he cared what Will thought. 

Don asked, "You?" 

Will's voice was thick as he answered, "Been getting by." He both hoped and feared that his answer gave as much away as Don's. 

Then Will grunted in frustration as Sanchez hit the ball and he had to run to second base. He stood at second, looked at Don who was also looking at him, then forced his eyes back to the game. He took a deep breath and held it. 

Then lost it again as he realized who the FBI's second baseman was. 

Colby Granger. 

The man who had seduced Don, introduced him to his bisexuality, then dumped him off a cliff and ran off with his brother. The bastard whose loss had so devastated Don that he'd ended up nearly dead in a corrupt BDSM dungeon to try to forget him. Will had read up about Granger, and knew that if he turned around right now and wrapped his hands around that thick neck, that Granger would pulverize him. Didn't mean that Will didn't want to try. 

Will clenched his teeth and forced breaths in and out. The man looked as dumb as a rock, and just as deep, but Will knew that was just an illusion. No one that Don Eppes loved so much could be simple. Why did he have to be so gorgeous? Why did he have to be blond-haired, wide-shouldered, and look like every gay man's fantasy? 

Will's fingers dug into his palms. He reached desperately for the safety and confidence of Sticks Stevens. As he settled Sticks over him, Will stood up straight, looked towards the batter at home plate, and edged off the base. Granger became a simple opposing baseball player, an obstacle towards his goal of scoring a run. 

Will narrowed his eyes and watched Bonn at the plate. She had been a softball star in college and was easily the DEA's best hitter. He willed her to hit something and get him off this base and away from Granger. Will snapped Sticks back into place and watched Bonn. She connected and Will was off and running. He rounded third base and raced towards home plate. 

The FBI catcher was there, trying to block him from reaching home, and he had no compunction running straight at her. He was impressed with how well she moved when she rolled out of his way, and he mentally IDed her as Megan Reeves, krav maga expert. Then he was into home and his team was cheering. He jogged back to the dugout, where he got friendly shoulder slaps. Smiling, he sat on the bench and waited for his turn to pitch again. His eyes went automatically to Don and the inning sped by. 

The fourth inning came too soon and Will went out to the mound. He passed by Don and their eyes met again, even longer this time. Will dragged his attention back to pitching. Will got the first FBI hitter out with a quick fly ball, and the second with a lucky strikeout. Then it was back to the top of the order. Will resisted the sudden urge to let the next three batters get on base, so he could pitch to Don again this inning, but he owed the DEA better. He bore down and got the third out with a ground ball to Sanchez. 

Will was able to rest the entire bottom of the fourth inning, as his team got several hits and spent a while on the bases but failed to score. Will just couldn't get enough of watching Don play, even if Don was just standing there, ready to catch a ball. By the time the FBI was up to bat again in the top of the fifth, the game was still just DEA 1 - FBI 0. 

As Will went out to pitch for the top of the fifth, he looked at Don in the dugout, who was ready to bat if any of his teammates got on base. Will suddenly wanted to impress him. It didn't make any sense, Don had seen pro players and Will wouldn't have even made a college team, but Don was watching and Will wanted him to like what he saw. 

Sharply focused now, Will struck out the first two batters with only three pitches each. The third batter took just one swing and foul-tipped the ball back into Simon's catcher's mitt. The inning was over and Simon gave him a big thumbs up. Will glanced over at Don who seemed to be smiling, but Will wasn't sure. The FBI catcher, Reeves, was talking with Don, and she was definitely smiling. 

Will was up to bat again in the bottom of the fifth. This time he popped up a ball to shallow right field. He knew it was going to get caught, but he raced to first anyway, just to run by Don. Then he gave Don a nod, turned around and headed back to the dugout. 

The next two DEA players also got up to bat and quickly sat back down. It was turning into a tight game. And a fast one. Will frowned as he went out to the mound for the top of the sixth. The DEA coach had said Will was only going to pitch through six innings, no matter how well he was doing. They had a good second pitcher who was itching to take his turn on the mound. So once Will was done pitching, how was he going to see Don again? The two teams were scheduled to meet again in a month, but could Will wait that long? 

Don was up to bat and Will drank in the sight of him for a long moment before setting up for his first pitch. This time the ball went where he planned, and Don's hit bounced out to the shortstop. He gave Will a congratulatory nod before heading back to the bench. The next two FBI batters got on base, but Bonn turned a sweet double-play that ended the inning. 

Will walked slowly back to the dugout. Unless somehow his team rallied, and seven DEA players were able to get up to bat before they got three outs, Will wouldn't be sharing the field with Don again. He sat down on the bench and all his energy drained out of him. He'd had a plan - get good enough pitching so he could meet Don on the baseball diamond, but now that was over. Where did he go from here? Just seeing Don hadn't helped his stupid obsession. Even chatting with him for a moment hadn't helped. The obsession was even worse. Maybe a longer conversation was what was needed. How was he going to manage that? Don seemed to want to talk with him as well, but teams usually went out as a team after a game, and, win or lose, Don would want to go with his team. And with Granger. 

Will closed his eyes and rested his head down between his shoulders. It had been four long months of grueling training to get ready for this game, and now it was over and nothing had changed. 

All the work had been for nothing. 


	5. Thoughts in the Shower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will comes up with a new plan.

  


**Part 5: Thoughts in the Shower**

Sitting on the bench in the dugout with his head hanging down, Will felt a hand on his shoulder. 

"Will?" 

Will looked up into the concerned face of his boss, Sanchez. He didn't have to look up far, Sanchez was a small woman, but anyone who didn't take her seriously soon changed their minds - after they picked their guts up off the floor. 

"You okay?" she asked. 

Will grimaced. "I… I'm just tired." 

"Okay," Sanchez said, in a way that meant Will knew she knew he wasn't telling her the whole story, but that she was alright with that. It was one of the reasons Will loved the woman. She let him hide when he needed to. 

"Take a shower," she said. "You stink." 

Will had to smile at her. "Thanks a lot, ma'am." 

Sanchez growled, she loathed being called 'ma'am', but she just gave him a cheerfully rude 'get out of here' gesture. Will stood up and slunk obediently to the locker room. 

Will peeled out of his uniform and tossed it aside with relief. He didn't know how anyone could ever get used to those cups. He stepped into the shower and let the hot water pour over him. Had he learned anything today? Yes, he'd learned that Don still had a supernatural power over him. It had been a long time, a very long time, since he'd met someone who could rattle him so easily. From the moment that he'd laid eyes on Don Eppes - breathing fire as he headed up a massive task force to find his kidnapped brother - Will had been fixated on him. He did not believe in love at first sight, _did_ _not believe_ in it. But obsession at first sight was apparently a real thing. 

Will soaped down his body and remembered helping Don in the shower. Don had been so injured and weak from blood loss that he'd needed Will to hold him up in the shower to try to sluice off the stink of that foul dungeon. It had been hard to find a spot to hold onto Don, since barely an inch of his skin was free of cuts, burns, or bruises. Will had closed his eyes and held Don as gently as he could. It had been torture to hold his own body away from Don's, when all he had wanted to do was press against him. What he wouldn't give to be in that same position again, but with a healthy Don… 

Will's cock throbbed as he thought more about a naked Don. He'd had to take his own shower afterwards that day, so he could jerk off, biting his lip to keep Don in the next room from hearing him. Then after his shower, he'd gone back into his bedroom to see an exhausted Don asleep in his bed. Will could still remember the surge of emotions that had overwhelmed him at that moment. Later, when they'd shared two amazing kisses, Will had felt electricity like he never had before. At the time, he'd thought there would be more kisses, then even more than kisses if they just went slow… 

Will shook his head and turned off the water. Yes, today had been a learning experience, and what he had really learned was that his obsession with Don was going to have to be dug out of him like a bullet buried in cement. To do that he was going to have to talk to Don again, for longer than a few words. He was going to have to spend some time with him to see… 

No, what he was going to have to do was fuck him. 

That was all that this was, unresolved sexual desire. He'd seen Don, wanted him, and gone to all these ridiculous lengths so he could have him. He didn't need to start assigning complicated or mystical reasons to it. 

Will was going to wait until the game was over then ask Don to go get a drink with him. It shouldn't be difficult then to convince him to come home with him. Will knew Don's reputation for being a total bed-hopper, so casual sex wouldn't be a big deal for him. Also, Don had shown signs of appreciation of Will's body over the time they'd been together and Will had never had trouble closing the closing the deal with the latest object of his lust. Will could, after all, be anyone his lover wanted him to be. 

Will nodded sharply. This was his new plan. 

Once he got Don back into his bed, he would be able to get him out of his mind. 


	6. Late Innings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will watches Don win the baseball game.

**Part 6: Late Innings**

After he'd finished getting cleaned up, Will returned to the ballfield, but sat in the stands as opposed to the dugout. He checked out the scoreboard - still DEA 1 - FBI 0 - and watched Martinez's delivery for a few pitches. Will would be back on that mound for the next game. He had made a commitment to be one of the DEA's pitchers for the season, even if his heart would no longer be in it. 

The FBI then came out to the field for the bottom of the eighth and Will was surprised to see another Feeb at second base instead of Granger. He looked into the dugout and didn't see him, then turned to look at the stands. There he was, sitting and chatting with a black man that Will recognized as another agent. Will eyed Granger. He was probably pulled from the game for the same reason that Will had been - more players that wanted to play than positions - but a significant part of Will hoped that Granger had gotten injured and had to leave the game. 

Will smiled wryly at his own blood-thirstiness and settled in to watch Don some more. Don had fine, skilled hands and Will was looking forward to having those hands on his body. He was imagining having those shapely legs spread as he prepped that lovely ass for fucking. 

Will frowned. Maybe fucking was out of the question. Don had, after all, suffered severe anal tears from the massive dildo that Don's filthy tormentor had shoved into his dry and unprepared asshole. Don may never be willing to have another man in his ass. Will's most intense fantasy would probably never be fulfilled. 

Will shook off his disappointment. Just some kisses and mutual blowjobs would be enough to purge himself of this obsession. Once he'd confirmed that Don tasted and felt just the same as every other man that Will had ever been with, he'd be free of his irrational fixation. He planned to have fun with Don, and make sure that Don had fun too, but it would be like any other hookup - even less than some because he knew that Don was a hardcore sub and a bottom. Will himself was a switch, which meant he enjoyed both sides of a power play, domination and submission, as well as enjoyed both sides of a fuck. As much as he admired Don, Will knew that sexually he was fairly one dimensional. Don's time at the BDSM club, the Chamber, had demonstrated that. Will knew many men who were in command in their regular lives who needed submission to find balance in themselves. Will didn't think less of such men, in fact he wished he could be so straight-forward in his own desires. Instead, he'd never found a lover that kept him interested for long - either in bed or out of it. 

Still… Will admired Don and decided that even a quick, simple sexual encounter would be very satisfying. Once he got that out of the way, Don wouldn't be able to have this strange power over him anymore. Don wouldn't be able to rattle him with one look, wouldn't be able to steal his breath with just his proximity, wouldn't feel like the sun after a lifetime of cloudy days… 

Grimacing, Will rubbed his hands on his legs and wished the game was over. Watching Don was not enough anymore. 

The DEA seemed to hear his plea, and went down in order in the bottom of the eighth. That brought up the FBI in the top of the ninth, and their last chance to score. Martinez was struggling and walked the first two FBI batters. The next batter hit a sacrifice - getting an out but moving the baserunners to second and third bases. Then it was Don's turn at bat. Will's eyes were so focused on Don's ass, that Will almost missed Don's hit. A clean double, straight up the middle, and the FBI scored two runs. 

Will groaned out loud, forgetting that he didn't care who won the game anymore. Martinez struck out the next two hitters, but the damage was done and the FBI was up 2-1. 

The DEA had one more chance to score in the bottom of the ninth. La Monica and Harding got on base, but then Rogers and Sanchez both got out. Bonn, the DEA's best hitter, was their last hope. She hit a scorcher straight between first and second base that was going to bring the runners home… 

Then somehow Don was flying through in the air, parallel to the ground. The ball hit his mitt then he hit the ground. Rolled. Held up his mitt to show he still had the ball. 

The FBI dugout burst into cheers and the DEA dugout in groans. Will was torn between disappointment for his team and admiration for Don's catch. He watched as Don accepted the congratulations from his teammates and walked into the clubhouse. Will sat in the stands for a few minutes, indulging in images of Don showering. He was glad that this clubhouse had relatively private showers. He didn't want anyone to be able to watch Don shower. 

Will gritted his teeth. He had no right to be jealous. Granger could be fucking him now for all that it mattered. Will's jaw hurt with how hard he was clenching his teeth. 

He stood up abruptly, startling the few other stragglers in the stands. He hoped there was no one here waiting for Don. For all he knew, Don had gotten past his bisexual 'experiment' and was back to women. If Don had a girlfriend, though, he should have been looking towards the stands, instead of always towards Will. 

_Damn it,_ Will snapped under his breath. Don was a player and so was he. That was probably it. Don had a girlfriend but needed some gay sex on the side. He saw Will, knew that Will was attracted to him, and was guessing that Will would be able to give him a quickie. Will nodded grimly. That was all he was looking for as well. 

Will thought about going into the DEA team's side of the clubhouse, he did owe Simon and explanation after all, but decided not to. He'd talk to Simon after he got what he'd been pitching for - a few minutes of pleasure with Don Eppes. 

Will tracked down Don's car in the parking lot. He couldn't help thinking about that car in the parking lot of that unscrupulous Chamber. Will had been concerned that the DEA would run the plates on it, when they found it abandoned in the parking lot of the place that they'd just raided. Thankfully, Will and Don had been able to retrieve it before anyone got around to it. At least as far as Will ever heard. He frowned to himself. Could someone from his office be keeping that knowledge to themselves, to have dirt on a Fed? If they ever came after Don… 

Will clenched his fists. What did it matter to him? Don was a big boy, even if he'd made some very stupid choices. 

Will looked towards the clubhouse and saw Don coming out the door. Will stepped back into the shadows. No one else came to join Don, and Don didn't look he felt like the hero of the game. In fact, he looked sad. He even looked around a few times, then sighed. Who was Don looking for? He'd know where Granger was. 

Could it be…? Will's heart began to thud. Maybe Don was looking for him. 

Of course, Will growled to himself. Don's cruising for a quickie, remember? 

But Don didn't look like someone who was trying to spot his hook-up. He didn't look disappointed. He looked depressed. 

Will's heart thudded louder. He watched Don begin to load his gear into his car. He swallowed a few times to make sure his voice would sound normal then stepped out of the shadows. 


	7. Getting to the Bar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will invites Don to the bar, then has to deal with the consequences.

  


**Part 7: Getting to the Bar**

When Will stepped out of the shadows next to Don's car, he made enough noise so that Don should have heard him. However, Don didn't turn around and Will knew that he was distracted indeed. The idea that it might be Will that was distracting him brought a smile to Will's face. 

"Hey, G-man," Will said. 

Don spun around and his face lit up. "Hey!" 

They just looked at each other for a long moment, smiling. 

Finally, Will found his voice. "Some of us are going to a bar to drown our sorrows. Want to join us?" 

"Are you sure I'd be welcome?" Don asked. 

Will opened his mouth, planning on making some blithe remark, and the truth slipped out - "I really don't care." 

Don didn't reply, just nodded. He shut the door to his car and got inside. Will hesitated, before going to his own car. He got in, drove by Don's car so that he could follow him, then headed out of the parking lot. He set his car in the direction of Jones Street Bar and tried to think. 

He replayed their very short conversation in his mind, trying to put his finger on why it had completely unsettled him. Why did all of his usual wry banter disappear when he was talking to Don? The conversation should have been full of sexual innuendo and macho posturing. Don should have been signaling his availability - and eagerness - to bottom. Will should have been slightly overpowering, both physically and conversationally, to signal his own willingness to top. If Will had played his cards right, had managed the interaction as well as he _usually_ did, Don would been practically begging for Will to take him on the nearest horizontal surface. Instead, they had just smiled at each other then agreed to go to a bar. 

Will swore loudly in the silence of his car. Every time he encountered Don, all his plans went sideways. How was he ever going to get Don out of his system if he couldn't even get him into bed? He should have at least kissed Don, bent him back over his car to give him a taste of what was to come. Will had the strange feeling that Don wouldn't have just accepted a forceful kiss, however, which made no sense. Will knew subs, knew how to make them melt with just a kiss and the right placement of his hands. 

Was it possible that Don's time in the Chamber had been just an aberration, born out of depression and self-loathing, and Don was really a top? That would work for Will, too. He loved to be fucked and he was sure that Don would be good at it. Will could adjust his sexual expectations, if he needed to. 

But damn it if that wasn't the real problem. There had been no sex in his short interaction with Don, no promise of any sort of positioning. In fact, there had been little sex in their interactions on the baseball field. Instead, it had been more like…friendship? Attraction of personalities? Will shuddered. That way lay madness. Will hadn't been in love for years, maybe never. He'd had some friends, but no one particular close since Jim, the man who had gotten him out of trouble and off drugs. After he and Jim had had their bitter disagreement about Will going into the DEA, they hadn't talked for years. Will's only long-term friendship in his life was his sister, Cindi, and they didn't even talk very often. Because of the demands of his work, he didn't have time or need for friendships. He had his DEA colleagues whenever he wanted socializing, and he could walk into any gay bar and get the exact sort of sex he wanted whenever he felt the need for that. 

He swore again as he realized he was already pulling into the parking lot of the Jones Street Bar, Don behind him. He didn't swear usually, something from his strict upbringing, but the situation seemed to call for it. He hadn't even been paying attention to whether Don had been able to follow him, but Don obviously had. 

Will parked his car and got out. Don pulled in beside him. Will watched Don get out of the car - he looked fine in his t-shirt and jeans - then with just an exchange of smiles, they walked silently to the door. 

It really wasn't until they walked into the bar that Will really thought about the fact that he was bringing 'the enemy' into his own team's post-game pity party. He immediately moved slightly in front of Don, a position of protection. Then he forced himself to step away again. Why was he protecting this complete stranger from his own team? Dammit if Don didn't have him confused already. 

Will tried to get Don to a table quietly, but it was a pointless thing to try. 

"Hey, why'd you bring him here?" Simon called. Will looked over to him and Simon was grinning, and winking. It didn't look like he was going to have to explain much to Simon after all. Will gave Simon a warning look but Simon just grinned wider. 

"Consorting with the enemy?" La Monica teased. 

Will sighed, but the familiarity of his team's teasing helped settle his jumping nerves a little. He replied, "He's an old friend I hadn't seen in a while. Not my fault that Martinez couldn't get him out in the ninth." 

Martinez grumbled at this, but it looked like he had already been under fire from his teammates for the loss. Everyone else smiled at Don and turned back to the bar. Don sat down at a small table and Will went to get them some beers. 

When Will got to the bar, the teasing returned. 

"He's cute," La Monica said. "Where'd you meet a Feeb?" 

"I didn't know they were allowed to wear anything but a suit," Bonn said. "Are you sure he's FBI? I think he's a ringer." 

"Played pro ball," Will said, leaning on the bar and waiting for the bartender to come back his way. "Minor league." 

"Should have known," Bonn grumbled. 

"But he's a real Feeb," Will said. "Met him at a kidnapping case once." 

"Hey," La Monica said slowly. "I remember that one - his brother, right? The super-important CalSci professor that got kidnapped with another Feeb? I remember that everyone had to drop what they were doing to go after them." 

Bonn and Simon were nodding as well. 

"Eppstein?" La Monica said. 

"Eppes," Will said. "Yeah, that was him. That's where I met him." 

"Must have been quite a meeting," Simon teased. "He obviously made an impression." 

"Wait, 'Eppes,'" Martinez said. "He sent you a mysterious package recently." 

"Ooo," everyone teased. 

Will glared at Martinez. Sometimes he forgot that Martinez had a brain underneath all that ego. 

"What can I get you?" the bartender asked. 

"What do you have on tap?" Will replied. He remembered that Don liked his beer. 

"Guinness." 

Good, that's what Don ordered at the gay bar, the Titan. "Two, please." 

Simon leaned closer. "So he was your 'personal goal'?" 

Will nodded, not looking at him. 

"Why couldn't you just ask him out in the usual way?" Simon asked. 

"He's not…he's not 'out.'" 

"Oh," Simon said, though he obviously didn't understand. Straight guys like Simon never understood how easy they had it. 

While the bartender filled two glasses and Will put some money on the bar, Simon sipped his beer and looked at Don. 

"He certainly doesn't look like he's in the closet," Simon commented. "Or he looks ready to burst out any second. Must be your pitching." He added, "You're welcome." 

Will laughed and looked over at Don. Don was watching him and Will felt a shiver go through him. Will took the full glasses and went over to the table where Don was. Don's eyes were locked with his the whole way. Will was pleased that his hands didn't shake as he put down the beer in front of Don. He sat down across the table from him and wrapped both hands around his own beer. 

Don was buried deep inside Will, that bullet buried deep inside cement. Time to start digging it out. 


	8. Words over Beers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will tries to figure out what Don wants.

  


**Part 8: Words over Beers**

Will looked at Don across the small table at the Jones Street Bar. 

"Guinness, right?" Will asked, just to be saying something. 

"I'm not picky," Don said. "But yeah, Guinness is good." 

"Not picky, hmm?" Will replied with a smile. He almost started talking about the wide range of beers he liked, and how he liked to pair them with the right food, until he realized that Don might not be talking about pickiness with beers but with people, and Will's words stuck in his throat. 

Don pulled his beer close but didn't drink it. He was holding the glass tightly and his face was serious. "Will," he said hoarsely, "I'm so sorry about what…" 

"Later," Will found himself interrupting. Four months ago he would have given his right arm for an apology, but right now he didn't care. Instead, he smiled at Don and said, "At the moment, I just want to find out how you are." 

Some of the tension left Don's body and he nodded. At least he didn't take those things he'd said to Will lightly. They'd been terrible and wounding and if anyone else but Don had said them, Will would have ripped their tongue out and stuffed it down their throat. Will had the suspicion that Don wouldn't usually let someone say the things Will had said to him either. Another strange thing that Will couldn't account for. 

Don said, "I'm good, real good." He cleared his throat and eyed Will. "In fact, David came over two weeks ago and gave me a thorough health check." 

Blood left Will's brain and went rushing to his cock. "Oh, really?" he managed. "Good to hear." Don was telling him that he was healed and ready for sex. Will might get to fuck him after all. 

"How about you?" Don asked. 

Will managed to temporarily banish the image of a naked Don on all fours and scrape a few brain cells back together. He opened his mouth, intending on some sexual innuendo, but the truth came out again. "Spring was long, but the summer's looking up." 

Don smiled and took a drink of his beer. Will watched him carefully. Don's smile wasn't a smug smile, a triumphant smile as he got confirmation that Will had been thinking about him. Instead, it just seemed like a smile of someone pleased with what he'd heard. 

Will took a sip of his own beer and looked for something to talk about. When Don had been healing at Will's house, they'd never struggled to find something to talk about. But here the air was heavy with unsaid things. 

Will found refuge in sports. "Ducks made it to the playoffs after all." 

"Yeah, they looked really good until they ran up against Edmonton," Don replied. 

"True." Will remembered sitting in his bed with Don, watching a hockey game. Don had been swathed from the neck down in bandages, antiseptic and ointment. It hadn't been a particularly nice smell, but it had also been the smell of healing. That evening had been the first time that Will had seen Don laugh, and each time it had set Will's heart racing. After the hockey game, a sleepy Don had suggested that Will share the bed with him that night, instead of sleeping in a chair like he had the night before. Will had woken up with Don snuggled up next to him, and had carefully put his arm around him, offering him only platonic comfort. Will's bed had seemed so empty since Don left. Will reminded himself that he preferred to sleep alone. __

"I went to one of the semi-finals games against Colorado," Don said. 

"Oh?" Will said, wishing irrationally that Don had asked him to join him. "Good game?" 

"Don't know, left after the first period. Kind of a drag to watch hockey by yourself." 

"Yeah," Will said softly, his palms sweating. Don had just admitted that he wasn't seeing anyone. There was no girlfriend, this was no attempt at an on-the-side quickie. This was…what was this? 

Don took a swig of his Guinness and Will did the same. Maybe Will should have ordered something stronger for himself. He had an incredible capacity for alcohol and the Guinness wasn't calming his nerves at all. 

Looking for another safe topic, Will said, "I love my tiger. Sits on my desk at work, though I'm thinking of taking it home. Gotten too many threats to steal it." He'd kept the gift from Don at work, because his home was already too full of memories of Don. 

"Glad you liked," Don said. "It was nothing." 

If Will hadn't known better, he'd have been offended by Don's dismissal of his gift. As it was, Will knew that its cost had been a significant strain on a federal employee's salary. "Oh, I really doubt that. I looked up info on the artist." 

"Still," Don said, shrugging. "I had to get it." 

Why? Was it just simple gratitude for saving his life and reputation or was it more? At the time, Will saw the tiger as Don's apology, his thank-you, and his goodbye all at once. Now, he wasn't so sure. 

Will just said, "Thanks for it." 

"Sure," Don replied and looked down at his beer glass. 

Will pressed his lips together and waited for a cue from Don to what was going on here. Could this possibly just be a beer between friends and they'd be going home separately? Will hoped it was a very long beer. 

"I took some time off," Don said at last. 

"I know," Will replied quietly. 

The threats that Will had made hung in the air between them. Will had sworn that if Don didn't stop going out on active duty, and endangering everyone around him, that Will would destroy Don's reputation and rip his career to shreds. Don had been in no shape to hold a gun, let alone use one effectively, and he had been doing just that. Their big fight had started because Will had noticed that Don's shoulders, chest and back were inflamed, and Don had admitted that was because he'd been wearing a Kevlar vest and going on raids. He'd been hardly able to walk by himself and he'd been going on raids. Righteous fury had blazed out of Will, and set on fire the whole relationship-destroying inferno. 

Will wouldn't apologize, not for stopping Don. That was something Will hoped any other LEO would do in his place. He'd called the FBI the next week, and confirmed that Don was on medical leave. 

"What did you do with the time off?" Will asked at last. 

Don shrugged. "Oh, puttered around my parent's - I mean, Charlie's house, played videos games, golfed, ate, slept." 

Will wondered if he'd figured into those days at all. Had Don even considered calling him? Had he been like Will, constantly carrying his phone around, just in case? Listening to an old voice mail from Don over and over? Kept small, bloody mementoes of their time together? No, no one could be as pathetic and obsessed as Will had been. Still was. 

"What about you?" Don asked. "What have you been up to?" 

"Work, of course." Will stopped, swallowed, and decided that he had to go for it. "And learning how to pitch." 

Don blinked. "You hadn't ever pitched before?" 

"In high school, yeah, but it had been ages." And he'd never been that good in high school. Simon had really had his work cut out for him. 

"You did very well," Don said. 

"Thanks," Will smiled, pleased out of proportion to the compliment. "Good to hear that I didn't make a complete fool of myself in front of the professional." 

"Not at all," Don said, his voice sounding strained. Will watched Don work through what Will had just admitted - that the whole reason that Will had been on that baseball diamond was to see Don. Will waited, heart pounding, for Don's reaction to that revelation. Don didn't look disgusted or annoyed or uncomfortable. Rather he looked…hopeful? 

Will's heart rate only increased. 

He couldn't stand it anymore, he had to touch Don. 

He set his beer down and pointed at Don's left hand. "Your fingers good?" Will remembered the pulp that they'd been when he'd released them from where they'd been strapped to a wooden stool. That bastard had shattered them with a mallet, and would have moved on to each next finger and Don's other hand. Will had no doubt that by the time Don had died, he would have been a mass of shattered bones. Will swallowed hard against that image. 

Don held out his hand and flexed his fingers for Will to see. "Pinkie ended up kinda crooked." 

Trying to look casual, Will took Don's hand in his and examined the fingers. "Not too bad though. You can only see it if you're looking for it." 

"I had to relearn my gun grip," Don said. "Funny how much you use your pinkie." 

Will felt a flash of anger at himself. If he'd just bandaged Don's fingers better, been more skilled, Don wouldn't have this reminder of that horrible night. Will couldn't help but run one finger down Don's hand, checking for any other abnormalities. At least Don's other smashed finger seemed to have healed straight. Will had always wondered what the doctor who set those fingers thought had happened to Don. 

Now that Will had hold of Don's hand, he discovered he couldn't let it go. Almost of its own accord, his thumb started rubbing circles in Don's palm. For some reason, his brain jumped to rubbing shampoo into Don's hair. He'd had to do it for him when Don couldn't even hold himself up in the shower. 

"You cut your hair," Will said. He wanted to run his hands over it, feel the short hair under his fingers. 

As if he heard him, Don ran his free hand over his own hair. "Yeah, figured if it was shorter then it wouldn't be as much of a pain." 

Will imagined that it had been difficult for Don to shampoo his hair while his fingers were healing. Will would have been happy to do it for him. Will jammed his foot against the leg of his chair, trying to use the pain to clear his head. 

"I like it," Will said. "Very tough guy." 

"Still needs to be shampooed, though," Don said. His voice was warm and doing strange things to Will's stomach. Under the table, Will felt Don's leg pressing against his own. Will felt a shiver of anticipation go through him. So this wasn't just a beer between friends. 

Will smiled and let his thumb go where it had wanted to, the pulse point at Don's wrist. He didn't think it was just his imagination that Don's pulse was pounding as hard as his. "Might need some help with that." 

"Yeah," Don said and his voice grew huskier. That voice was promising all sorts of incredible things and Will's body responded, completely out of his control. "Though I like my showers quite a bit hotter these days." 

"Good thing," Will said faintly. "I never liked cold showers." 

Simon's voice cut through his haze. "God, will you two just get a room?" 

Don jerked back and his cheeks flushed. 

Will shot Simon a glare. If he'd just scared Don away, he'd have his balls. Will now saw that his whole team was standing there, grinning and watching them. Normally Will would enjoy their teasing, giving it back as hard, but Will was engaged in a delicate negotiation here. Don wasn't 'out', didn't they understand that? 

"Hey, look at that," La Monica teased. "Didn't know FBI guys were allowed to blush." 

Will held tight to Don's hand. Somehow letting his hand go would mean letting Don go. He managed a laugh. "Take it easy on him. He's just barely peeking out the closet." He narrowed his eyes, willing them to back off. 

They didn't. Simon said, "Looks like a lot more than peeking to me," and his team all laughed. 

Will looked back at Don. Don's cheeks were practically glowing with his blush. 

Oh, hell. Here goes… 

"How about it, Eppes?" Will asked. 

"How about what?" Don said, still trying half-heartedly to pull his hand out of Will's grip. 

Will almost said, 'How about I take you home and fuck your brains out?' Just in time, he managed to say, "You place or mine?" That was so inane that he had to smile. 

Don's eyes grew wide and he licked his lips. His answer was somewhat strangled, but it was clear enough, "My place is closer." 

Not trusting what might say, Will just nodded quickly. They stood up from the table and Will's team started hooting and catcalling. Will steered Don in front of him and mouthed at his team that he was going to kill them. To emphasize, he ran his finger across his throat. His team just got louder. 

Will was still looking backwards as the door closed behind them, so he was taken off guard when Don grabbed his shirt and pulled him close. Don's lips smashed into his and Will grabbed hold of Don as well. They kissed with a pent up fervor that threatened to leave bruises and Will completely forgot to breathe. 

Finally, they broke apart, gasping madly, their hands still gripping each other's shirts. 

Don stared up at him in the artificial light of bar sign. "I missed you so much. I knew you for three days and I missed you so much, how is that possible?" 

Will's head was already spinning from the kiss - and he was throw off-center even more by Don's intense, straight-forward admission. He could only respond with his own admission. "I missed you, too." He stroked Don's neck, feeling the blood pounding under the skin, and asked the important question, "Why didn't you call me?" 

"Because…" Don said, then shrugged apologetically. "Because I'm an idiot." 

Will laughed, because that covered so many things. "Yes, you are, but so am I, so we're a good match." 

"Yeah…" Don's eyes lit up and Will knew that he was thinking about parts of his body that he wanted to match up with parts of Will's. Don said urgently, "My place." 

Will remembered that they were still only one step away from the bar door. "Oh, right." He reluctantly released Don and started moving towards his car. 

Don made a move to grab him, and Will wondered how far Don was willing to go, right here and now. Maybe Will could at least get him to his car, before things got too out of hand. He realized, with a sort of stunned acknowledgment, that if Don pulled out his cock this instant, Will would happily go down on his knees. Who cares about public exposure and indecency laws, if Don wanted it this way? 

Fortunately for both of them, Don resisted pulling him close again. "Follow me," Don said hoarsely and hurried to his car. Will raced to his car and yanked the door open. He got into the car, turned it on and put it into gear. Don's car backed out of its parking spot then jerked forward, screeching out of the parking lot. 

Will fumbled his seatbelt on and followed. 


	9. Continued Frustration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will can't understand why he keeps failing to control his interactions with Don.

**Part 9: Continued Frustration**

As Will followed Don, this time heading for Don's apartment, once again he was swearing in the silence of his car. Every time he encountered Don, all his plans and expectations went off the rails. When he wasn't with Don, it seemed so simple - Will would just spend some time with Don and this silly obsession would dissipate. Then one kiss and Will was ready to throw away his career just to have sex with Don a little sooner. 

It wasn't just the kiss, though that was enough. Even every snippet of conversation with Don had been like a powerful drug, and all he wanted was more. 

There was a moment in the bar when he thought that Don might just be interested in being friends, and damn him if Will wasn't going to go along with that. Will didn't have friends. He had co-workers, colleagues, teammates. Friends were too… dangerous. They exposed you to too much pain, risk. Will's life already had enough danger in it - well, his job did, but his job was his life. It had to be if he was going to be going undercover for months at a time. He had Cindi, his sister, as his emergency contact, and that was really all that he needed. The only person that he'd ever really needed had been Jim, who had saved him from a life of being a drug whore, and look how well that friendship turned out. Will had spent the first months of DEA training perpetually angry, and wasn't really sure how he got through it. Stubbornness, mostly. 

Will gazed at Don's tail-lights a little ways ahead of him. He didn't bother to follow that close because he knew where they were going. He knew where Don's apartment was, just as he knew every scrap of public information that he'd been able to find on Don. 

What had Will been _doing_ in that conversation at the bar? He was supposed to be lacing the conversation with sexual innuendo, getting Don ready for his role as a sub. Instead, they'd been chatting over inanities and Don had made as many moves as Will had. He knew that Don was a ladies man, so maybe that was his attitude with men - until they got into bed. Will was so frustrated by himself, by his inability to manage any of his interactions with Don. He had not once been able to slip into one of his carefully built undercover personas, which he usually wore like a second skin whenever he was around other people. He hadn't even been able to maintain Sticks Stevens when he'd been 90 feet away from Don on the pitcher's mound. What the hell was wrong with him? 

Then Don had been the one to yank Will close and slam his lips to Will's. Will had gone along with it with enthusiasm but he hadn't been the instigator. Give him a few more seconds and he would have, but Don got there first. 

It was just as well that they were going somewhere to have sex. After that, they wouldn't be able to be friends any more, especially with the unequal nature of the sex that Don liked. In Will's experience, subs and Doms couldn't be friends outside of a scene, it was too uncomfortable. Will had been with a few other switches in his life, men like him who enjoyed both sides of a sexual encounter, but the ground rules were always laid out in advance. Sex just made any friendship difficult. The only reason that he and Jim had stayed friends and lovers for so long was that Will was a project that Jim had taken on \- rebuilding Will's body and spirit from his years of heavy drug use and heavier abuse. When Will finally gotten strong enough, from Jim's work as well as from becoming an EMT and a college student, their friendship had fallen apart. Why did it hurt so much to think that his friendship with Don would soon be over? 

No, they weren't friends. When Will had rescued Don from his self-imposed torture chamber, Don had been a project, a wounded animal that needed to be cared for. That was why they had felt like friends in the time that Don had stayed at Will's house. That had only lasted three days until Don decided that he didn't want to be anyone's project. It was just as well, Will didn't have time to take care of anyone but himself. 

But those three days… What had Don said in the parking lot just now? 'I only knew you for three days and I missed you so much. How is that possible?' Will had been aware of Don for much longer, but those three days had turned his interest into an obsession. 

Sexual tension, Will told himself firmly. Unresolved sexual attraction. There had been moments of pure chemistry - no, biology. Pheromones, testosterone, all those unconscious physical clues that said another was sexually available. There was nothing mysterious about it. The attraction was just intense because they were both intense people. Once that loop had been closed, and their sexual attraction resolved, the tension would dissipate. 

Will gripped the steering wheel tightly. He was going to have to manage the next hour very carefully. He needed to be cautious with Don's sub inclinations, and not put Don into a true sub mental space. That sort of thing was addictive to a sub. Worse, some BDSM practitioners sometimes mistook sexual compatibility for love and Will didn't want Don to get the wrong idea about his intentions. Like friendship, love was another luxury that a man like him couldn't indulge in. He'd already wasted enough time on this ridiculous obsession. Tonight needed to be it, end of any involvement with Don. 

Will banged on the steering wheel and swore again. He had the sinking feeling that this plan would, like every other time he'd planned encounters with Don, go completely sideways. Don wasn't helping. Will didn't know what Don's agenda was, but Don didn't seem to be willing to follow any of Will's known patterns. 

Will shook his head. No, he was the one with the agenda. He was the one who'd learned to pitch, who'd invited Don to the bar, who'd asked Don 'my place or yours?' Don seemed to just be along for the ride. At least that behavior squared with a sub personality. Will shook his head again. No, Don wasn't just going passively along. He had engaged Will in a game of cat-and-mouse on the baseball diamond, slid his leg to rest against Will's under the table, kissed him first. He constantly upended Will's expectations. 

Will just didn't understand Don. 

And that terrified him. 

"Dammit, Eppes," Will snapped. "I will find the key to unlock you tonight. Then I'm getting as far away from you as I possibly can and I will forget about you as easily as I started." 

The words echoed in the silent car. Solid, absolute. 

And a complete lie. 


	10. The Proper Mindset

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will thinks he knows who he needs to be.

  


**Part 10: The Proper Mindset**

Will knew that they were getting close to Don's apartment, so he tried to get himself into the necessary mindset. It was time to start acting like a Dom. It was what Don wanted and what Will needed right now was whatever Don wanted. Only then could the fire of this obsession burn out. He needed to become Master Stevens again. 

Will had first learned how to Dom against his will. It was a strange thing to acknowledge in retrospect, but when he was a drug whore, he'd lived with whoever would give him drugs in exchange for sex. Most of the time, drug dealers wanted subs, and he was very, very good at being a sub. In some situations, he even enjoyed it. But while this drug dealer had 'acquired' him as a sub, but it had become clear very quickly that he had been really looking for a Dom. It had been learn or suffer severe withdrawal, so Will learned. He had become Master Stevens. In that particular situation, he had hated it. But later, when he was in a place where he could actually choose his sexual partners, he discovered that he also enjoyed the role of Dom. Both sides of a scene seemed to appeal to different primal parts of him. 

Don had gone to the Chamber looking for a Dom. Will could be that for him. He would have to make it good, but not too good. If it was too good, then both of them might want it again. That was not an acceptable outcome of the evening. 

Will breathed in, held it, and brought the hard energy of Master Stevens to the surface. He sped up until he was practically tapping Don's bumper. He leaned over to his glove compartment and got out a strip of pre-lubed condoms. 

Don pulled into the parking lot of his apartment complex and Will was right behind him. As Will drove, he was already unbuckling his seatbelt and shoving the condoms into his back pocket. He quickly determined which parking space was assigned to Don's apartment and shot past Don's car, to pull into the guest spot right next to Don with a squeal of tires. 

Will opened his car door before Don got his car into park. Will strode over to Don's car, yanked open the door, and practically dragged Don out of his car. He shoved Don against his car, raining kisses on his mouth, eyes and face. 

Don accepted Will's kisses but he was just as busy, his hands roaming over Will's body before they grabbed Will's ass and squeezed. Will pressed harder against Don, but Don wasn't yielding. Will suddenly remembered that at the Chamber Don had been known as the sub that no Dom could reach. Will was just going to have to try harder. 

Will leaned over and bit Don's left earlobe, a move which never failed to melt a sub. 

Don laughed instead. And continued to squeeze Will's ass and pushed his groin up against Will's. "What will my neighbors think?" Don teased, not sounding cowed at all. 

"They'll wonder who is that gorgeous guy that Mr. Eppes found," Will said, nibbling at the pulse point on Don's throat. He wondered why he said that, instead of something more forceful. Master Stevens was not doing well. Will Stevens, on the other hand, was feeling wound up and eager. His whole body was throbbing and his cock was tight against his jeans zipper. 

"Soon," Don groaned, pulling at Will's belt, "They're going to wonder who that naked guy with Mr. Eppes is. My apartment is over that way." He pointed with an elbow, but Will didn't even look. He knew which way to go. 

To cover up this fact, Will said, "Hope it's a short trip." 

Trying once more to bring his Dom skills into play, Will stepped away from the car abruptly, so that Don swayed off-balance. Will grabbed Don's hand and yanked Don away from the car. 

Don pressed the button to lock his car, but instead of letting Will lead, Don started pulling Will up the sidewalk. Will tried to take control, get in front of Don with his longer legs, but Don was almost running. He dragged Will along the sidewalk, through the door of his building, down the hallway towards his apartment. When they reached the door of his apartment, Don turned and took possession of Will's mouth. 

Will matched his hunger and they kissed intensely, hands almost rough on each other's bodies. They needed to get inside Don's apartment fast. Will took the keys from Don's hand and leaned over to try to unlock the door. The first key was wrong so Will had to turn to face the door and try each key on the keychain. Will was sure he tried some keys more than once, because Don was being very distracting - pressing himself against Will's back, running his hands up and down Will's thighs, and kissing his shoulders. 

Finally the right key slid in and Will shoved the door open. The door banged against the wall and Will almost fell forward into the apartment. Don followed behind and turned to lock the door. 

As Don did so, Will mentally grabbed for Master Stevens, trying desperately to pull the persona around him. 

As soon as Don finished locking the door, Will yanked on Don's shoulder, spun him around, and shoved him face first into the nearby wall. Will was immediately pressed against Don's back, his hands all over him, trying to claim him. He rubbed his already aching cock against Don's ass. Don levered himself away from the wall with both arms and Will's hands jumped to Don's groin. Will rubbed Don's hard cock through his jeans as he pushed his own cock against Don's ass. Both of them were gasping. 

Will knew how to Dom. It was a hard-won education and he was very good at it. But this? This was just raw, naked need. 

Don freed one hand to unbutton his jeans. "Hurry!" he said, his voice rough with arousal. 

Will took hold of Don's jeans and underwear and shoved them down to his thighs. Don's cock sprang free, rigid and ready. Don braced himself against the wall, lowered his head, and waited. Will paused in the middle of unbuckling his jeans, startled by Don's position. 

After all the energy leading up to this moment, seeing Don suddenly go passive was almost a physical blow. Will gathered himself together. This is what he'd been trying to get Don to do. This was what they both wanted. He'd known that Don was a hardcore sub. 

Wait… Don wasn't being passive. His energy and body posture were all wrong. He was just…ready. 

Will struggled to get his own jeans unzipped and pulled down. He had to pull them partially back up to get a condom from his back pocket. He ripped the condom package open, almost ripping the condom itself like he hadn't done since he was a teenager. He managed to get it over his cock. 

"Pre-lubed," Will reassured him. 

"Very prepared," Don said, sounding like he was gritting his teeth with impatience. 

Will was quickly pressed back against Don, his hard cock rubbing between Don's asscheeks. 

Abruptly, Will remembered that the last time he'd seen this ass, it had been to slather it with ointment for the deep anal tears. Had Don really meant what Will thought he meant, when Don said David had given him 'a thorough health check'? 

"Is this okay?" Will asked. 

"Just fuck me already," Don demanded. 

The roar of approval from Will's body was almost deafening. 

Will took hold of his cock with one hand and pressed the head against Don's tight asshole. Don shifted his legs farther apart. Will's other hand held Don firmly in place as he pressed in very slowly. 

Master Stevens would have shoved straight in. He'd bury himself with one thrust, healing anal tears be damned. But Will found himself unable to do it. He knew he was failing as a Dom, but he couldn't treat Don's ass that way, even if Don wanted it. Instead, Will bit his lip and pushed in millimeter by millimeter, letting Don adjust around him. When he was far enough in that he could let go of his cock, Will held on to Don's hips with both hands. 

Don's breathing was ragged, and Will had to hold on tight to not let Don push back onto his cock. He was holding back his own desire just as tightly. 

Don leaned his head back and Will saw that Don was biting his lip, just like Will was. 

For some reason, that sight broke Will and he shoved in the rest of the way with one fierce thrust. Horrified, he held himself still. 

Don groaned, but it was a groan of relief with maybe only a bit of pain. Will began to move and Don groaned again, a sound of pure approval. 

That sound shattered Will. He began to pull out nearly out and slam back in, over and over. His fingers dug into Don's hips as his desperate desire for Don took over his body. He plundered that glorious ass with every ounce of his strength. 

In spite of his hammering, Don was able to brace himself against the wall with one hand and grab hold of his own cock with his other. Will wanted to stroke Don's cock himself, but couldn't let go of Don's ass. Don's cock bounced in Don's hand as Will slammed into his ass. 

Don still had his head thrown back and Will rubbed his face against his hair. He heard himself moaning incoherently. "God, yes. Don…so…God…" 

Months upon months of desire engulfed Will and his pounding became frenzied, making Don fuck his own hand with wild strokes. Will cried out and Don echoed him and then they were exploding together. Will pumped his orgasm deep into Don, as spots exploded behind his eyes. 

Seconds, minutes, years later, they slowed and stopped. Don sagged against the wall and Will collapsed against his back. Their panting was loud and harsh. Will rubbed his face against Don's head, feeling that short hair against his cheek. Don released his spent cock and pressed his forehead against the wall. Will went with him, keeping their connection tight as he ran his hands down Don's body, his touch light. He wanted to whimper, he wanted to scream, he wanted to mutter unforgivable endearments in Don's ear. 

"Damn," Will said faintly. 

Don mumbled, "Trust you to go to the heart of the matter." 

Will laughed in surprise. He pulled Don away from the wall and hugged him tightly. Don wiped off his cum-covered hand, put his hands on Will's arms and learned back against him. Will could feel Don's chest rise and fall as Don's breathing returned to normal. Will's breath was stuck in his chest. 

Somewhere, long before, he had lost track of Master Stevens. There had been nobody here with Don but Will himself. 

Will closed his eyes. 

_Oh God, Oh God, Oh God…_

He had miscalculated horribly. He had fatally misjudged what his reaction to sex with Don would be. He'd thought he was obsessed with Don before, but that was a campfire next to the raging firestorm that now consumed him. He was trembling and couldn't even manage to hide it. 

_Oh God, Oh God, what have I done…_


	11. Known Patterns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will is still trying to fit this encounter with Don into one of his familiar patterns.

**Part 11: Known Patterns**

Will held Don, trembling. He had no idea what to do now. They were about two steps into Don's apartment and had just had quick, dirty, and soul-shattering sex. He searched for a known pattern that would match this situation and found none. He should have made things last so much longer, he should have drawn out the anticipation, putting Don into the right headspace, asserting his dominance. Or, if this was just a quickie between equals, it should be done, over, and Will should be offering his thanks and leaving. Instead, Don was leaning against him, Will was holding him, and there was no post-sex awkwardness. It was more like a pause, a rest, before more activities. 

Okay, okay, he could manage this. He'd gone home with a man before for a sexual marathon. Once they'd gotten the first intense orgasm out of the way, he and the other man would take a break, drink some beer, and get ready for more. 

Will was very pleased to realize that there would be more, and he'd get to enjoy that ass again. That was all this was, two men whose desires matched up and planned on wringing every bit of pleasure from those desires before going their separate ways. 

Then why couldn't he even make his arms unwrap from Don? Why wasn't Don moving away either? Why did this moment feel so goddamned significant? 

Finally, Don said, "Couch. I have a couch somewhere." 

"Right." Will blinked a few times, trying to focus on his surroundings. Don's apartment was messy, but in a passing-through sort of way. There were a few unpacked boxes in a corner, the remains of take-out and empty beer bottles on the coffee table, and no art or other decorations on the walls. 

Will spotted an old couch and finally convinced his arms to release Don. He moved away from Don, peeled off his condom, and dropped it in a nearby trashcan. He pulled his pants back together while Don did the same. They both made their unsteady way to the couch and sat down heavily on it. 

Will wondered if there would be beer and sports on TV now. He hoped that he hadn't misinterpreted things and Don was expecting him to leave. 

Instead, Don reached over and kissed Will slowly and Will almost whimpered with the sweetness of it. Will kissed him back just as thoroughly, kissing Don in a way he hadn't kissed anyone for a long time. To most men, kissing was just a starter, a way to get the body's juices flowing. With Don, it was more of an echo of his words 'I missed you so much.' Will kissed him back with 'I missed you, too.' 

Don fingers slid into Will's hair and found his hair tie. He tugged on the tie until Will's hair fell around his shoulders. He combed Will's hair with his fingers, still kissing him. 

Don pulled back, his hands lingering in Will's hair. His smile said that the evening was definitely not over. 

Will smiled back, relieved. His hands rested on Don's chest and he knew that there was something he needed to see. 

He tugged up Don's t-shirt, the image of Don's battered skin still strong behind his eyes. Don's chest as he revealed it was amazingly free of marks. His fingers ran over the skin, discovering the faint scars and a few tiny hairless spots. 

"You healed so well," Will said, trying to replace that terrible image of Don's wounds with the image of this healed body. 

"It was your healing touch," Don said, placing his hands over Will's. 

Will felt almost overwhelmed with relief that he hadn't done too bad a job with Don. Now he could finally enjoy that body that he had worked so hard to save… 

"I have other kinds of touches, too," Will said with a smile. 

"I know," Don grinned. "I'm gonna think of you every time I sit down for the next week." 

That shot up Will's pulse, both the memory of their recent hard fucking and the idea that Don would be thinking about him all week. 

"Oh, I hope so," Will said fervently. To cover up his strong response, he leaned forward and kissed Don's neck. Don's hands were still running through his hair. Will leaned Don back a little and his mouth roamed lower. As he covered each inch of skin, he relived every gash and burn and welt that had once been there. He could be less gentle this time, and he kissed that skin firmly. He reached Don's right nipple, remembering the horribly inflamed nipple he'd seen last time. He took this healthy nipple into his mouth and began to tease and suck it, to see if Don liked that. 

Don's gasps and arched back spoke volumes. He released Will's hair and held tight to his shoulders while Will brought the nipple to hardness. Will lifted his head to look at Don's face, and Don looked flushed and delicious already. The sight of him brought a throb to Will's cock. Will kissed those parted lips, then went to work on Don's other nipple. Don's legs shifted and his groin pushed slightly against Will. It looked like they weren't going to have to wait long for round two. 

"Will?" Don gasped. 

Will licked his lips and looked up at Don. 

Don's next words were exactly what Will wanted to hear - "Move to the bed?" 

Will stood up and pulled Don up from the couch. He kissed him, holding his face between his hands, as he pressed his body against Don's. Don jerked away, his face flushed. He took hold of Will's hand and dragged him to the bedroom. The bed was just as messy as the apartment, but Don wasn't looking at it. He shoved Will down to sit on the bed and yanked up Will's shirt. 

Will was a little surprised at the force of Don's actions, but he didn't mind. Maybe Don really wasn't a true sub, and had only been that way at the Chamber because he had been hurting. Will was just fine with that. True subs, he admitted, bored him quickly. Most had a tendency to view Doms as just a means to an end, a way to get to the submission that they desperately craved, and dismiss them when they were done. 

Don ran his hands over Will's chest. He climbed onto the bed, his knees on both sides of Will's legs, and smiled down at him. "You wore those swim trunks on purpose, didn't you?" 

Will wasn't sure for a moment what Don was talking about, then he realized that Don was talking about Will's attire when he showered with the injured Don. He'd first put on just swim trunks, but after Don had complained, he'd added a T-shirt. Don had apparently liked what he'd seen of Will's body at the time, and was enjoying it again now. 

"Oh, a little," Will grinned. He'd picked out a short, sexy pair of swim trunks instead of the long surfer ones. 

"That shower was pure torture," Don said, rubbing his hands on Will's shoulders. 

"You're telling me," Will agreed. "You were naked in front of me, water pouring over your body, and I couldn't touch you without hurting you." The images were still shockingly fresh, even after four months. "I almost hated you at that moment, for what you'd done to yourself." Will stopped, surprised all over again at the natural way Don had of getting him to say things that he'd normally keep to himself. He grinned as he thought of another admission. "You know, I had to take a shower afterwards and jerk off." 

"Oh really?" Don looked surprised himself. 

Will was gratified to learn that he'd managed to hide his arousal from Don. It hadn't been easy, with Don so wet and so close. 

Don continued, "I'm glad I didn't know at the time. Not sure I could have survived the mental image. As it was, I already wanted to kiss you and touch you and do all sorts of lovely things to you that I wasn't up for." 

Will was warmed by the idea that Don had been lusting after him even when his body wasn't up for it. It said good things about Don that he was still able to be interested in sex, after what had been done to him. 

Speaking of interested in sex… "Think you're up for them now?" Will smoothed his palms over Don's hips. 

Don's grin was full of lascivious promise. "Definitely, more than up." He pulled Will's shirt the rest of the way off, then pushed Will to lie flat on the bed. He began to rub and kiss Will's chest and stomach, moving unhurriedly as if he was enjoying every spot. He sucked lightly on Will's nipples, then harder as Will pushed up into his mouth. 

Will put a pillow under his head and stroked Don's face and neck, enjoying the sight of Don kissing his chest almost as much as the sensations. 

Without lifting his mouth, Don's hands went to the waistband of Will's jeans. After a little bit of fumbling, Don sat up and unbuttoned and unzipped Will's jeans, somehow without touching Will's already hard cock. Will raised his hips, trying to make contact, but Don got Will's jeans and underwear off without ever giving his cock the touch he wanted. Don took all of Will's clothes and tossed them aside. Will was now naked on the bed, feeling even more naked under Don's hungry gaze. 

"Well?" Will asked, a little uncomfortably. "You gonna look all day?" 

Don grinned, braced himself on Will's hips, and leaned over to lay a teasing lick up Will's cock. Will tried to push up against Don's mouth, but Don held him in place. Will shifted experimentally and Don held him down with ease. Part of Will said that he should be asserting himself, but then Don rubbed his lips over the head of Will's cock and Will lost that thought. Don's sinful lips sucked on the sensitive ridge just below the head. 

Will groaned, squirming, trying to get more contact. 

Instead, Don lifted his head and smiled down at him. "You had your turn to drive, now it's mine." 

Startled by the simplification of a complicated issue, Will said, "I hardly think that…" 

Then he couldn't think at all as Don sucked Will's cock back into his mouth, his eyes on Will's. He worked over the head for a moment, giving Will a perfect view of what he was doing and creating enough suction to make a popping sound every time the head went past his lips. Will's breath started coming faster. Then Don blew air out his nose, took a good grip on Will's hips and sucked Will's cock all the way in. 

"Fuck," Will moaned, grabbing hold of whatever part of Don he could reach. It turned out to be a solid-feeling thigh and Will dug his fingers into that muscle as Don raised his head then took Will all the way in again. When Don's nose was pressed against Will's pelvis, he began to swallow, massaging Will's cock with this throat muscles. 

Will had been blown by the best, but nothing measured up to this. "Oh God, yes Don," he heard himself moaning. As Don continued to work him, his words soon turned into meaningless sounds. He was coming soon and he was going to shoot down Don's throat. He knew that he was clean, free of STDs, but Don had no way of knowing this. Will couldn't summon the words to warn him. 

Thankfully, Don lifted his head before it had gone too far. Don licked his lips and looked him over, as if enjoying seeing Will so flushed and aroused. Will was so boneless from the blowjob that Don was able to roll him over onto his stomach before he was able to react. 

Deciding that this position was just fine, Will pushed his wet cock into the blanket, backing himself off the edge. There was a moment of quiet, broken only by the sound of both of them catching their breath. Will felt oddly vulnerable laying on the bed on his stomach, Don out of sight behind him. 

He wondered what Don had in mind, and, to his amazement and delight, he realized that he had absolutely no idea. It had been so long since a lover was able to surprise him that he'd almost forgotten what being on the edge of sweet uncertainty felt like. 

Will lay still and thought, 'Surprise me, Don Eppes. You've been surprising me all day. Don't you dare stop now.' 


	12. Surprises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don continues to upend Will's expectations.

  


**Part 12: Surprises**

As Will lay on his stomach on the bed, Don began to rub his hands over Will's back. His touch was firm, massaging, then he would scrape his fingernails lightly over the skin. His mouth followed his fingers and he licked and kissed Will's back. 

Then his mouth and fingers were on Will's ass. Don took his time there too, mouthing and rubbing Will's ass cheeks. He ran his thumb down the crack between and Will shivered. Could Don really be thinking…? Don rubbed Will's asshole with his thumb, then followed it with this tongue. 

Will gasped in surprise and arousal and pushed against Don's tongue. It had been a long time since anyone had done that to him, most men didn't like it, and Don had just casually gone to it. There was no way that Don could have known that Will loved it. 

Soon, Will didn't care how Don knew as Don stretched Will's ass cheeks to give himself maximum access and pushed that tongue in deeper. Don held Will against the mattress and tongue-fucked his ass until Will was moaning and shaking underneath him. Will was quickly on the edge of coming again, and he pressed his cock brutally against the mattress. 

At the last moment, Don sat up. Will struggled to gather his wits together as he felt Don get up from the bed. Rimming usually led to fucking. Was Don planning on fucking him? Did Don have any idea how unusual it was for a man to enjoy both sides of a fuck? Will tried to remember if he'd ever told Don he was a switch. It also meant that Don liked both sides… 

Will flipped back in his mind what he knew about Don's sexual history with men. It was a short time period, that he knew. Don had been introduced to his bisexuality by two male co-workers, less than a year ago, then had been with no one else until he came to the gay bar, the Titan, where Will had also been undercover. Don had gone to Titan's back room multiple times with what Will called Friday Night Blowboys, 'straight' men who came to the bar for a quick suck. The Blowboys always did the sucking, so Don would have just been a recipient. After that, it was to the Chamber and the terror that Don had found there. Will was reasonably sure that there were no other men involved. That meant that the two co-workers who'd seduced him had introduced him to all aspects of gay sex, and never explained that liking everything was unusual. Just like the sham Doms at the Chamber who had never explained the role of a sub, never cared about Don for anything but a plaything. 

Will felt a rush of anger at all the men who had treated Don so thoughtlessly. He began to sit up. Don took his shoulders and pushed him back to the bed. 

"Stay," Don ordered, and Will instinctively did, recognizing the voice of command. 

Then Will's heart began to pound heavily. Don was a switch? Oh God, was it possible that the man who he was so attracted to was a natural switch? That he liked all things, like Will did, including appreciating both sides of a power play? 

Will turned his head to watch Don undress. He remembered the first time he'd seen Don, blazing with passion and energy as he led a briefing about his brother's kidnapping. Will had been floored by his fire, but had managed to forget about that in the months following. Will certainly hadn't seen any of that in the Don at the Chamber or the Don that he rescued. There had been a few sights of it in the days that Don had been healing at his house, and a few more on the baseball diamond, but Will had thought that sense of command was more of a role at his job. Will had known many men who were in charge at their job but were quiet and submissive in bed. But maybe Don… 

Don got out a condom and stood on the side of the bed nearest Will's face. He slowly rolled the condom down his hard cock, giving Will a good view of what promised to soon be in his ass. Don slicked his condom-covered cock with lube. 

Will looked up at Don's face to see Don looking down at him, a knowing smile on his lips. Don stroked a lube-wet finger across Will's cheek. 

"You want to be fucked, don't you?" Don said, and his voice was a rumble of pure sex. "Will Stevens, DEA Superman, desperate for a fuck." 

Will licked his lips. How did he know? How did he _know_? "Yes," he managed at last. 

Smiling a predatory smile, Don climbed onto the bed and onto Will. He sat on Will's thighs and pressed his wet finger into Will's ass, where his tongue had recently been. He slid a second finger in and began to stretch Will's ass. Will struggled to find his breath, struggled to find his footing in this constant shifting of the sexual landscape. Finally, he was able to let go and just enjoy it. 

Don stretched him in a leisurely manner, belying the urgency that his rock-hard cock had been showing. Will appreciated the chance for both of them to back off from the edge a little. 

At last, Don pulled his fingers out and then his cock was at Will's ass. He slowly pushed inside then paused. Will shivered with a strange sense of completion. It had never felt so simply right before, just with a man's cock in his ass. He sighed in satisfaction. 

Don didn't seem anxious to move and Will was willing to wait a moment longer before complaining. He wasn't sure what Don saw when he looked down at him, but he hoped that he liked it. 

Don, when he moved, didn't start by fucking him. Instead, he lay fully on top of Will, pressing him down with his warm body. He pushed Will's hair aside then leaned over… 

…and bit Will's neck. 

Arousal slammed through Will, as the sub part of him jumped to the surface, screaming in recognition of a worthy Dom. 

Will surrendered. 

Don grunted his approval and began to slowly fuck him. Will felt Don's teeth at his neck while Don moved in small, unhurried thrusts. Will held himself still, letting Don give him what he craved. Soon, however, he felt the need to test Don's command of him. 

At that moment, Don released his grip on Will's neck, licking the spot where his teeth had been fastened, and sat up. He pulled out of Will's ass and Will grunted involuntarily. Don tugged on Will's hips and Will slid down until he was kneeling on the floor, bent over the side of the bed. Don came around behind him and knelt between Will's legs. His cock pushed back into Will's ass. Will tried to rock back on Don's cock, but Don's hands controlled him easily. He also pushed Will's legs farther apart, putting Will more off balance and relying on Don to keep him up. 

Don fucked Will with a slow, maddening pace. Every time Will tried to speed it up, Don pressed his hands against Will's body, pushing him back into position. Will's heart was pounding so hard at this gentle but firm control of him. He'd had Doms who couldn't do as much with a set of whips. 

Suddenly, Don leaned down, gripped Will's shoulders tightly, and began to slam into him. Will moaned in surprise and appreciation. Don pounded into Will's ass, shaking the bed and filling the room with the delicious sound of flesh meeting flesh. Don let go of Will's shoulders and grabbed two fistfuls of Will's hair, then yanked. 

Will gasped at the sudden pain. His body was bent backwards into a tight arch as Don pounded into him. There was nothing he could do but take Don's wild hammering and Will's cock throbbed from the glory of it. 

Don cried out and Will felt heat inside him. Don continued to slam into him for a long time, riding him longer than Will thought possible. Will's neck and back ached from his position, but he couldn't move until Don was finished with him. 

Finally Don came to a shaking stop, gasping madly. He released Will's hair and Will collapsed to the bed. 

Someone was saying, "Fuck, fuck, fuck," and Will realized with a start that it was him. 

Will was still trying to relax his back when Don abruptly pulled out of him, then flipped him over on the bed like he was a doll. Will's ass was hanging off the bed and he tried to shift up onto the bed, but Don grabbed Will's legs and slung them over his shoulders. He then leaned over and inhaled Will's cock. 

Will groaned and tried to pull Don closer with his legs. Don pushed Will's hips back to the mattress and held onto them with one hand. Don took his other hand and shoved a finger deep into Will's still throbbing ass. Will groaned again as the finger found his prostate and began to rub it firmly. Don's mouth went up and down his cock as his finger drove into his ass. Will struggled against the duel onslaught, but Don kept control of the rhythm and depth, his motions varying so that Will couldn't predict them. 

Will felt a killer orgasm building in his balls and he tried again to thrust up against Don's lips. Don held him firm and Will couldn't do anything but yank and twist his own nipples. He felt his orgasm coming and Don wasn't wearing a condom and Will was too far gone to complain and his body began to shake and… 

Don stopped his finger and lifted his head. 

"Don!" Will cried. He hardly recognized his own voice as the needy, desperate voice coming out of his mouth. "God, please!" 

Don smiled, took Will's cock back into his mouth, and began to move his finger again. Soon he was sucking Will in and out quickly again, his finger hammering against Will's prostate. Will began to shake again and he knew he would pass out if Don stopped again. Don finally, blessedly, released his hips, and Will could slam up into Don's mouth. He flailed wildly, fucking Don's mouth as Don's finger fucked him. His orgasm burst out of him and cum shot down Don's throat. Don swallowed and Will wildly pumped out more and more until there was nothing left but he was still pounding against Don's mouth and his body was shaking so hard his teeth rattled. 

Will finally collapsed in exhaustion and lay limp against Don. He barely registered Don gently sucking his spent cock and pulling his finger out of his ass. Don tugged Will onto the bed, where he lay, blankly staring up at the ceiling. 

He felt complete, satisfied like he hadn't in a very long time. 

_Who taught you to Dom, Don Eppes, and can I thank him and kill him at the same time?_

A small voice in the back of Will's mind said, 'Maybe no one taught him to Dom, he's just that attuned to your needs.' Will dismissed that thought, because that kind of connection took time and they barely knew each other. It didn't matter that they fit together like hand and glove, more in sync than anyone he'd ever been with. That sort of mystical bond simply didn't happen, it was just for romance novels. 

Will's mood abruptly plummeted as he remembered where he was and what his mission was supposed to be. He was supposed to be getting Don out of his system, not opening up to him like parched earth finally given rain. 

Don lay down next to Will and stroked Will's hair. 

Will trembled under that soft touch. He felt raw, open, and vulnerable. 

Once again, Don had overthrown all his carefully laid plans as easily as breathing, as easily as he brought Will to shattering orgasm. Will now knew that he would never rid himself of this obsession, that he would do anything for Don to touch him again, that if he never lay naked and spent next to Don again that he would die. 

Don ran his finger down Will's cheek like the track of a tear. 


	13. Realizations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don's tender touch helps Will come to a realization.

  


**Part 13: Realizations**

Don and Will lay together on the bed, in a silence that was surprisingly comfortable. Will wrapped the silence around himself, trying to get some equilibrium in a world that had gone suddenly unstable. 

No, it had been unstable for a while. From the moment that Will laid eyes on him, Don had wielded a supernatural power over Will's emotions and actions that Will couldn't banish. Don continued to have more power over him than anyone had had in a very long time. Now Will had found out that Don could command him sexually as well, the one arena that Will thought he would have the upper hand. Will was petrified by the implications and angry that he had ever let himself be under someone else's control again. However, panic remained at bay, because if there was one person in the world that he least feared having power over him, it was Don Eppes. 

When he thought his voice wouldn't betray him, Will said, "That was damn good. You so…in control." 

Don lifted his head and grinned. "Oh, you thought you'd always be in charge?" 

Well, yes, he had. He'd thought that Don was a hardcore sub. 

"I'm glad to find out otherwise," Will admitted. He turned slowly to look at Don, enjoying the smile that was still crinkling Don's eyes. That Don might be a switch still amazed him. "As you well know, it gets tiring to always be in charge. Sometimes you just want your brains fucked out." 

Don laughed, acknowledging that they'd both gotten that this evening. He stretched like a satisfied cat. "Requires you to have brains in the first place." 

Will chuckled, falling back into the banter that somehow came so easily with Don. "True. I forgot about the lobotomy that comes with the badge." 

"Any badge," Don agreed. He pulled Will close. Will settled into Don's arms with the same surprising ease of the banter. 

Don leisurely kissed Will's face and hair. Will ran his hands over Don's hair and down his back. It was amazing to realize that just an hour ago he was certain that he'd never get to kiss Don again. Now they'd done so much more than kiss, and Don's mouth on Will's skin was promising more again. Somehow a meeting on the baseball diamond had gotten them from not speaking to being in bed together. 

He'd have to send Simon a thank-you card. 

"You know," he said, stroking Don's back. "I think baseball is my new favorite sport." 

Don laughed and Will's hands on Don's ass reminded him of his real favorite sport - sex. He pushed down with his elbow and rolled over on top of Don. He braced himself above Don and smiled down at him. Don looked comfortable underneath him, not seeming to mind that Will was on top. Will knew many men - make that most men who weren't subs - who would feel the need to move out from under him, reassert their position, return their body postures to more equal footing. How did Don become so confident in his sexuality in such a short period of time? Maybe the Chamber had beaten some sense into him after all. 

Will needed to check, though, that Don bottoming in the hallway wasn't an aberration, a hold-over from their previous roles as care-taker and dependent patient. 

"I also like doing the fucking," Will said, pressing his hips against Don's. 

"I remember," Don said with a smile. There wasn't any discomfort or regret in that smile. 

"And being the one in control," Will reminded him. 

Don nodded in agreement and it was a beautiful thing. 

Oh God, he really was a switch. 

Like he could hear him, Don raised his eyebrows. "So each time will be a battle?" 

Will's mouth went dry at the implication. That sounded like more than 'tonight.' He struggled to give Don a response that made sense - Will had never been with a switch before where roles weren't decided pre-sex and carried through for the entire time. 

"Not a battle, call it…a negotiation" Will said. As he said it, he wondered, is it possible? Can two people be so in sync that something as fundamental as roles be decided on the fly? And change from one moment to the next? 

Don seemed to think so. "Each time will be a negotiation, then." 

"Perhaps," Will murmured, still not sure it was possible. At the moment, however, he was more interested in the expectation from Don that there would be many more times to negotiate. He had no idea what was going on, but Don at least was anticipating a continuation of their relationship past this night. Will wasn't sure what label Don was thinking for this new relationship, but Will would happily be anything that kept Don smiling at him. Whether Don wanted an occasional fuck-buddy or an on-call piece of ass, Will was up for it. If Don only ever wanted to go out for a beer and a hockey game, Will would grit his teeth and accept it. He had nothing worthwhile to offer Don, so whatever piece of Don he was willing to give him, he'd take. 

Starting right now. 

Will rocked his body against Don's and, against his hip, felt the beginnings of revival of Don's cock. His own cock was on its way to recovery. 

"Shall we find out?" Will murmured. He leaned down and kissed Don. His hair fell around their faces and Will felt Don's fingers in his hair, a gentle touch now in comparison to the fistfuls of hair that Don had grabbed while he fucked Will's ass. Will was starting to suspect that Don had a thing about his hair. Will smiled against Don's mouth. He could work with that. 

They kissed for a long time, enjoying not needing to rush. The first fiery urgency had been burned out, and the second one as well. Will was a little surprised to find that he was as just as interested in having sex with Don now as he had been an hour ago. Usually the consummation of seduction took the edge off desire. 

Will broke from Don's delicious mouth and ran his hair over Don's face. Don kissed the strands as they went by. Keeping his head turned so that his hair hung down, Will moved down Don's body, sliding his hair over Don's skin. Will stopped at Don's right nipple, recalling how strongly Don had reacted to nipple stimulation on the couch. Will sucked and teased that nipple to hardness, then ran his hair over it. Don's breath hitched. Will did the same to the other nipple and Don was breathing heavily. 

Will moved lower, skimming his hair over Don's stomach, until he reached Don's firm cock. He brushed that cock with his hair a few times then just looked at it. He remembered how that cock had appeared after Channing had been done with it - red, inflamed and severely bruised. Now it looked gloriously healed and ready for action. Will took it in his mouth with a strange sense of possessiveness. Don's body didn't belong to him, regardless of how much he'd been involved in healing it. That didn't mean Will didn't take particular pleasure in sucking that cock to hardness. He also appreciated Don's little gasps and moans as he brought his substantial skills to bear. 

After a short while, Don tugged on his hair and Will let go of Don's cock with a smile. Don was looking flushed. He tugged Will's hair again, and Will skimmed his way back up Don's body. 

Once he was level with Don again, Will slid to the side. Don turned towards him and they kissed slowly. Will had never experienced sex that was so leisurely yet so full of desire. Don spit on his hand then reached down to stroke Will's cock. Will rocked against Don's hand, their mouths still joined. Will felt his orgasm begin to rise and he touched Don's arm. 

Don released Will's cock and rolled onto his back, pulling Will to lie on top of him. They kissed again as their spit-slick cocks slid between their bodies. Don entwined his fingers with Will's and they slowly rubbed together. Will felt his orgasm coming and he rocked harder. Don begin to push up against him at the same time and they breathed heavily against each other's mouths. Will's orgasm rose up in him like a slowly building wave, then it crested and he and Don rode their orgasms together down the other side of the wave. 

Totally spent, they lay together for a long time, just holding each other. Will felt a level of contentment that he couldn't ever remember feeling. Into this warm, peaceful space came the realization that had been growing on him over the last few minutes. 

He was in love with Don. 

He'd been in love with Don for a very long time. 

He was too relaxed at the moment to panic, that would come later. Right now, he could just marvel at the fact of it. He would have thought there was no way that love could live in the tattered and cynical shreds of his heart. It didn't change anything, he was too broken for a long-term relationship, but it was nice to know that he was still capable of love. 

He held Don and hoped he could keep it from him for as long as possible. 


	14. Confession and Debate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don tells Will what happened with Channing, then Will has a slip of the tongue.

**Part 14: Confession and Debate**

They couldn't stay lying together forever, even if Will wanted to. Don finally started to squirm underneath him and Will rolled off. 

Don got up and Will enjoyed watching Don walk naked to the bathroom. Will fancied that he could see his fingerprints on Don's ass. He couldn't help, yet again, compare Don's easy movements to the painful, shuffling gait that he'd had when he'd been injured. He had leaned heavily on Will in the long trip from bed to bathroom. A part of Will wished that they were back there again - not because of Don's horrific injuries but because then Don would be needing him. Now they were at Don's place, in Don's bed, and Will didn't know if he'd ever be here again. 

Surely Don would want him back, right? He'd been good enough, right? 

Don came back with a wet washcloth and gestured for Will to turn over onto his back. He gently wiped Will clean, his face suddenly serious. Was he remembering his injuries too, or was it something else? 

Don sighed and cleaned himself up. He tossed the washcloth aside then lay down on his stomach next to Will. Will held himself back from touching Don while he waited for Don to speak. 

"I have to tell you something," Don said slowly. "My team, I told them. They needed to understand why I took that time off." 

Will frowned. That statement could cover a great many things, including why the FBI catcher gave him such a strange look. "You told them…what?" 

"Not about you," Don said quickly. "Just that I had gotten myself into a situation that I thought I could handle but I couldn't, and I got trashed." 

There was the understatement of the year. Did he explain why he was there in the first place? Attempting suicide by Dom? Did he tell them that he loved Granger so much it had driven him to that point? And why hadn't Don told them about him? Did what Will had done mean so little? 

"True, if incomplete," Will said at last. He couldn't meet Don's eyes as he struggled to hold back his questions. Instead, he ran his fingers down Don's back, and the fading marks he saw there. 

"They, umm, eventually cornered me and talked me into giving up Channing." 

Will say bolt upright and stared at him. "What?" 

"I drove them to The Chamber - who claims they've cleaned up their act by the way - and we went and saw Channing." 

Anger flooded through Will at the cruel treatment by those who were supposed to be his friends. "Damn. Forcing you to go back there." Don had been still healing in body, let alone in soul. The last thing he'd needed was to reopen his fresh wounds. 

"They didn't force me," Don said wryly. "They used psychology on me." 

Even worse, Will thought. They manipulated him when he was vulnerable. "Still, it was a cruel thing to do. What were they trying to prove?" 

Had it been some sort of revenge? You hurt my friend so I'll hurt you? Didn't they care about Don at all? 

"We all went and…talked to Channing." Don's face was pale. 

"Talked?" Will snapped. 

"Okay, we talked briefly, then I felt compelled to hit him, repeatedly." 

"Good for you!" Will was relieved, that was a good reaction. Too many times in his life he had been faced with a tormentor and he'd just crumbled. Will hoped that meant that this was the first time in Don's life that he'd been under someone's boot. As opposed to Will's long list. 

Will eyed him. "What happened then?" 

"They dragged me off of him, because I was going to kill him." 

"Understandable," Will snapped. At least those friends of his had done something useful. If Don had gone ahead and killed Channing, he wouldn't be here today. Don would have destroyed his career and be in jail or on the run. "But then you left?" 

"Umm, no." Don looked nauseous and shaky. "Megan and I went out of the room and David and Colby… dealt with him." 

"Killed him?" Will demanded. Was Don covering up for his friends? Was this a brand-new can of worms that Don was just handing him? 

Don was shaking his head. "No, they said he was alive and I didn't really want to know what they'd done to him. I just know there was a lot of screaming and David and Colby came out with blood on their clothes." 

David and Colby… 

Fury overtook him. The two bastards who'd started Don down this destructive path got to be the ones who made Channing scream and bleed. They hadn't been there when Don needed them, their actions had dropped Don in The Chamber in the first place, and they thought they were friends for coming to his rescue far too late. They had no real idea what Channing had done to Don. Will was overwhelmed again by the image that was still seared across the back of his eyelids - Don hooded, his body covered with sharp clips, his cock and balls brutalized, his fingers smashed, crouched in a pool of his own blood. 

"Will?" Don said tentatively. 

Will blinked, trying to dispel the image, though he knew it would always be with him. If Channing had been in the room at the moment he first found Don… 

"I would have killed him," Will said and he meant when he'd found Don, as well as when Don's friends went to see Channing, and any other time that he might see that sadistic bastard. "I still want to kill him." 

"I know," Don said quietly. "Then he wins." 

Will glared at him. Don had no true understanding of what shape he'd been in. Only Will - and Channing - ever saw the shattered mess that was Don Eppes that night. Don thought he knew, but he didn't. Channing deserved to die. For what he did to Don, for what he had done and continued to do to other people. 

Slowly, however, what Don had said sunk in. Will couldn't go around killing the monsters of the world, because then he'd become one. 

Will sighed heavily and flopped down on the bed. "You're right." Then he had to admit something else, Don's friends had been right, too. "And you have a darn smart team, too." Then he came down to the crux of the matter - he hadn't been the one to do it. "Though I'm envious as hell that I didn't get to Channing first." He'd thought about going, many times but… 

He looked at Don. "I just…wanted you to want me to go." 

He'd wanted Don to ask him, he'd wanted to take Don with him to see Channing, and he'd torture and humiliate him in front of Don, breaking him down for him… 

Will sighed again. Don's friends were right again. If Will had taken Don to see Channing, it would have been all about Will's anger and revenge, not getting Don what he needed. Don needed to stand up to Channing and break his hold himself. Only then could Don start to heal his deeper wounds. 

"You can always wait until he gets out of the hospital, then give him a visit," Don offered. 

"True," Will said with a bloodthirsty smile. Then he could get his true revenge, instead of worrying about what Don needed. 

Don seemed relieved that Will had calmed down. He ran his finger over Will's lips and Will kissed his finger. Will hadn't meant to frighten Don. He was doing a poor job of hiding the intensity of his feelings from Don. Was this what love was, the inability to hide? If so, it was terrifying. 

Will looked for something to say that was less of a minefield. He leaned over and rubbed Don's bare ass. "It's a good thing that he wasn't there when I saw what he'd done to your sweet ass. I would have ripped him in half without hesitation." 

When Will had been trying to take care of injured Don, that was the one time he had almost broke his cover as a 'only a Fed trying to help another Fed,' when he'd seen what Channing had done to that ass. Before that night, he'd jerked off many times to thoughts of what he wanted to do to that sweet ass. Including some of the things he had just done a few minutes ago. Will smiled at the memory. 

Don smiled as well, and his ass pushed up slightly into Will's hand. "Sweet is not usually a word I hear. Been told I have a nice ass, cute, sexy, but never sweet." 

"Well, you're gonna be hearing it a lot from me," Will said, patting that ass fondly. Then he bit his tongue. Damn it, he wasn't supposed to suggest that there would be anything after tonight. He had no right to. He forced himself to keep smiling and hoped that Don didn't hear the implication. 

Don said quietly, "Just tonight?" 

Will swallowed hard and looked at Don. He knew what he needed to do. He needed to offer his body or his company for whatever Don wanted, every night if he wanted it or never again if that was his choice. He needed to admit that he'd take whatever crumbs Don was willing to offer him. He swallowed again, like the lump in his throat was actually his pride and he needed to push it down. Don was watching him warily, looking unsure. 

God, he loved this man. 

A wave of tenderness washed over him. He touched Don's cheek. " _Aein_ , I'd tell you every day for the rest of your life, if you'd let me." 

Horror crashed hard in the wake of the tenderness. Had he really just said that? Given Don his carefully hoarded Korean endearment? He'd been waiting all his life for the right man to call that name and it had just come tumbling out. And it had fit. Then he'd practically begged Don for some sort of commitment, when that was exactly what Will didn't want to do. He'd be happy with crumbs, remember, crumbs. 

"What does 'ay-in' mean?" Don asked, his face unreadable. 

Will hesitated, wondering for a fleeting moment if he should lie. He looked into Don's eyes and the truth came out, as it always seemed to with Don. "Beloved. Literally, 'person of the heart.'" 

Don's eyes widened and he forced a shaky laugh. "So you say. For all I know it could mean 'ugly monkey.'" 

Will touched Don's cheek. He was proud that his hand didn't shake. "Don, I'm not demanding anything from you, not now." 

Silently, he pleaded, 'Please don't turn me out. I'll be good, I won't ask for anything. Please, just let me be with you sometimes. I'm not demanding anything.' 

"Well, maybe you should," Don said. 

And Will's heart stopped. 

  



	15. Demands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don and Will finally admit their feelings to each other.

  


**Part 15: Demands**

Don repeated, "Maybe you should demand it." 

Will's breath was on pause, his whole body frozen except for his mouth. "Demand what?" 

Don looked uneasy and his eyes dropped from Will's. He shifted a little way away from Will. "Demand that I admit how I feel about you," he whispered. "Tell me that you won't kiss me again until I tell you." 

'I never want to stop kissing you,' Will wanted to say. 'I never want to make any demands of you. Please don't force me to.' But he had to know. "How do you feel?" 

Don twisted a piece of Will's hair between his fingers. "I don't know if I've ever been in love in my life. I thought I was, but now I'm not so sure." 

Will held himself very still, afraid to breathe or even blink. 

Don looked up and met Will's eyes, and the warmth in those eyes made Will shiver inside. 

Don said softly, "All I can say is, if what I feel for you isn't love, then they better come up with a stronger word." 

Will's heart lurched back into motion and his stunned lungs sucked in air. He could hardly process what his ears heard, what his eyes saw on Don's face. Slowly emotion worked its way up through the frozen layers and spread across body as a smile spread across his face. 

"That was a very roundabout answer," Will managed to say. 

"Yeah, well." Don shrugged. "It took me four months to get it to be that straightforward." 

Will's pulse pounded in his ears. He took Don's chin in his hand and said carefully, "You say that I should be more demanding." 

Don's eyes were cautious. "People will take advantage of you." 

Will attempted a joke. "You're the only one taking advantage of me that I can see." 

Don flushed and gave him a bitter smile. "True." He pulled his face away from Will's grip. 

Will grimaced internally as he realized how his joke sounded - Don must now think that Will believed Don was using him. That his words about love were just a lie. 

Will struggled to get a hold of himself. He gathered up every shred of courage he could find. Then slowly, painfully, he set his fears aside. This moment was more dangerous than any gun battle, but he'd do anything for Don, even if it meant exposing himself more than he ever had. 

He found a smile to put on his face and he took Don's face between his hands again. "Admit it then," Will said, his voice thick. "Or I won't kiss you again." 

Don looked deep into Will's eyes and said, quietly but clearly, "I love you, Will." 

"Wow," Will murmured as heat bloomed through him. "It took you long enough to figure it out." The irony of the statement wasn't lost on him, considering he'd just figured it how he felt a few minutes ago, but the mild teasing felt necessary to the moment. He stroked Don's cheek with both of his thumbs. Now was his turn. He took a deep breath, then the words came rushing out. "I've loved you since I first saw you, breathing fire and commanding the attention of a couple hundred law enforcement types. The only thing I wanted in the world was to have that passion turned towards me. I might completely melt under the heat of it, but it would be a lovely way to die." 

Don smiled, and the warmth in his smile made Will melt a little right now. "What about a lovely way to live?" 

Will's throat ached at the beautiful, impossible thought. "Even better." He wanted Don to keep saying such melting things. "What about you, when did you know you…?" 

"Oh, no big revelation," Don said. His fingers on Will's face were shaking slightly. "It just snuck up on me gradually and then, wham, sort of like getting mugged." 

Will had to laugh. "I guess that makes me the mugger." 

Don slid his fingers down Will's neck. His eyes grew serious. "I can tell you when it started, though. The very first time I saw you." 

Will frowned. He didn't think he'd made any impression on Don during the kidnapping rescue operation, even though he'd been right by Don's side. The first time that Don had really looked at him… 

"At Titan?" Will asked in surprise. "There must have been thirty people in that bar." 

"Yeah, but when you looked at me, you and I were the only people in the universe. You really stood out." 

Will remembered the moment that he'd seen Don at the Titan, where everything he knew about Don said he shouldn't be. He'd been stunned and had stared at Don too long. Don had turned and their eyes had met and it had indeed felt like they were the only people in the room - until Will had gotten control of himself and looked away. 

"A good first impression, then," Will teased, since it really had been a second impression. 

"If you call getting struck by a lightning bolt a good impression," Don said with a wry smile. "I looked for you every time after that." 

Will smiled, liking the thought that Don had been so affected by that one moment of eye contact that he'd searched for Will every time afterwards. 

Until Don stopped going to the Titan and started going to the Chamber instead. 

Will's smile vanished. "I wish I had been there." His eyes and his fingers went to one of the scars on Don's chest. "Maybe this wouldn't have happened." 

He should have found a way to make it back, should have seen that Don needed more than backup… 

Don caught Will's hand and kissed it, forcing Will to look back at his face. Don's warm eyes were serious. "Maybe or maybe it would have anyway. I was in a very self-destructive mode at that time, and I doubt that I'd have known a good thing if I hadn't been injured, weak, and kept prisoner for two days." 

Will protested, "Just one day. You were a guest after that." 

"And I didn't even know a good thing then, either. I had to go and try to mess it up, like I always do." 

Will sighed in sympathy. Don wasn't the only one who always messed things up. In fact, it was a specialty of Will's. "Don't blame that fight entirely on yourself. I was angry at you for getting yourself into that mess. And then pushing yourself too hard afterwards." 

"I'm sorry for the things I said that night," Don said, and at the sincerity in his voice, any remaining resentment Will had faded away. 

"Me, too," Will said firmly, hoping that Don didn't still hold against Will those terrible things he had said. "I guess that we knew each other pretty well already to know the things to say to hurt the most." His barbs about why Granger was right to choose Charlie over him had been particularly cruel. 

"Yeah." Don ran one finger down Will's cheek. 

Will wondered if Don remembered saying to Will, 'Once a whore, always a whore.' At the time, it had felt like a condemnation of Will's entire life. Now, it just seemed like a frightened man fighting with whatever ammunition he had - just like Will had been. 

Don said, "You don't know how many times I've thought about calling you, but I convinced myself that I was better off without you." 

"What an idiot," Will said with a smile, though it seemed small in comparison to Will's level of idiocy. "I should have called you, too, but I was too proud and stubborn." 

"That's past, though," Don said. "And the present is looking pretty good to me." 

"Me, too." 

Don looked deep into Will's eyes and said, his voice edged with amazement, "I love you, Will." 

"I love you, Don," Will replied. His heart felt so full that it was threatening to break out of his chest. "I love you, _aein_." 

Don smiled and Will knew that his hoarded endearment had found its home. No matter where they went from here, no matter how long this impossibility lasted, _aein_ would always belong Don. 

As would Will. 


	16. Watching His Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will tells Don about the _first_ time he saved his life.
> 
> [Takes place between chapters 22 and 23 of fic 'Looking for Love']  
> [References events in fic 'Watching His Back']

**Part 16: Watching His Back**

They lay for a little while longer on the bed, just looking at each other and smiling. 

At last Don said, "I could use a beer. You?" 

"Sure," Will said, though he didn't really want to move. 

They got up, though, and got dressed. Will followed Don into the kitchen. When Don opened the fridge, Will got a peek inside. The fridge contained beer, take-out containers, and more beer. 

"That must be your secret," Will teased. "You live on beer." 

Don shrugged. "I eat out a lot, and at my dad's place - Charlie's place - a lot." 

Will felt a familiar frisson of envy whenever anyone talked about being close to their family. 

Don gave him a sly look. "You could always cook for me." 

"Ah, so we see the real way to your heart," Will said with a smile. 

"There's an alternate route through other body parts," Don grinned. 

"I remember," Will said and pulled Don close for a kiss. 

Don pulled back from him with a chuckle. "I think the fourth time might kill me." 

"Might be a fun way to go," Will said, running his hand down to Don's ass. 

"That's okay," Don said. "I'd rather have no more tonight and three more times tomorrow." 

Will felt a warm glow at the promise of another day with Don. He gave Don's ass a squeeze. "If you insist." 

"Mmm," Don said and pulled Will's mouth down for a kiss. "I insist. I plan on getting very good at negotiating." 

Will kissed him back, but lightly. "Next time, I'm going to take a lot longer with this," he said, still squeezing Don's ass. 

"Don't forget you promised to call it 'sweet' a lot," Don said. 

"I'm just going to have to taste it, then." 

Don's eyes lit up and Will knew that Don liked to be rimmed. Just the idea gave a jolt to Will's exhausted body. 

"You really are going to kill me," Don laughed. He pushed Will away playfully and opened his beer. 

"After all I did to keep you alive?" Will protested. He held up two fingers and put a thoughtful expression on his face. "Let's see… The first three times I met you, I saved your life twice." 

Don's eyebrows went up. "Twice?" 

"You really don't remember, do you?" Will said with a shake of his head. He opened up his beer and walked out of the kitchen to the couch. Don followed him. 

Will flopped down on the couch and patted the spot next to him. Don sat down and looked at him in question. 

"When the call came in that they'd found the van that kidnapped your brother," Will began, "I was right behind you." 

Don frowned. "I was in…" 

"La Canada." 

"…when I got the call." 

"Right, and you flipped a U-ie right in the middle of Verdugo, almost caused about five crashes…" 

"I had my siren on." 

"Not until _after_ you made the U-turn into oncoming traffic." 

Don eyed him. "Are you sure?" 

"Yes, because I was driving right behind you." 

"You were following me?" 

"Of course, I was," Will said. "I knew you would be where the action was." 

"And…?" 

Will put his arm around Don's shoulders. "And I wanted to keep an eye on you, to make sure you didn't do anything stupid before I met you. Good thing, too, because you were running on stupid that day." 

"Charlie was hurt, maybe dead," Don said grimly. "I wasn't thinking straight." 

"I could tell," Will said. He squeezed Don's shoulder and wondered what it would be like to be that close to a sibling. No, that wasn't fair. He'd do anything for Cindi, including putting his life on the line. It was just hard to picture someone who worked in a baseball front office needing that kind of help. Maybe that was part of why Don was so desperate to save his brother - working with Don had put Charlie into the line of fire in the first place. That and Charlie had been kidnapped with Colby Granger, the man that Don loved. 

Will smashed that thought into small pieces, put them in a box and hid the box away for another time. Don had Will in his apartment now, and not Granger, so Will would just have to be happy with that. 

"So you took off up the 210," Will continued. "And I was following you. You had your sirens on then. I didn't have sirens in my car, so I just stuck on your tail and hoped no one would care. We got off on Foothill - I remember that you almost didn't make the turn - and drove to the place where they were getting people together. You got out of your car and just took over." Will smiled. "God, you were on fire." 

Don nodded. "We laid out a two-part approach plan. I put myself in the rescue team that would secure the vault. Is that so strange?" 

"Not at all. What _was_ strange was that you couldn't seem to remember that the bad guys had FN P90 submachine guns and you decided to put on a vest that wouldn't stop a BB gun." 

"I…" Don frowned thoughtfully. "I had to get to Charlie fast, the deadline was going to be up in a few minutes, and I couldn't move quickly in the heavy stuff." 

"You wouldn't have been able to move at all if you'd be shot." 

"I didn't plan on it," Don said with a fierce smile. "I was getting Charlie out of there." 

Just Charlie? Will wondered. Don kept referring to only Charlie, as if that had been the only person on his mind… 

Will said, "So this guy with an, oh, a P90 submachine gun, comes strolling out of the gas station towards the grate." 

"I remember that clearly," Don said. "Bastard couldn't even wait until the deadline was up. The raid went down on the gas station, and he started shooting into the grate." 

"And you started shooting at him, though you probably wouldn't have been able to hit him even with your M4. Then you got really stupid." 

"Gun jammed. I had to get closer." 

"No," Will snapped, memory of the terror of the moment suddenly hot and fresh in his mind. "What you had to do was get out of the line of fire so that the other person with the working M4 could shoot. Instead, you started running towards the man shooting a P90." 

"I…" 

"You just started running straight towards the guy with the submachine gun and, like a total idiot, I took off after you. I don't know what I was planning on doing - tackling you maybe so the M4 could have line of sight. Instead, you managed to get in range of your Glock, probably because the guy was as shocked as we were by you running across the field at him, screaming like a madman." 

"But I shot him," Don said slowly. 

"In the chest. He had on a vest," Will said curtly. "You only knocked him back for about two seconds." 

"But he…" 

"I shot his arm, so his next shots went wide. Then you _finally_ got out of the way and the people behind us took him out. You were so busy running to the grate that you never even checked if the guy was dead." 

Don stared at him. "I don't remember any of that being in the report." 

Will softened. "Maybe that was because everything turned out okay. We could all see that you weren't thinking straight, but since only the bad guy died, no one needed to harp on the fact that you almost got yourself shot trying to be a hero." 

"You were the hero." 

"No," Will shook his head. "I didn't have the kill shot. Guy behind me did. It was a team effort, a team effort all the way." He shook his head again, this time in amazement. "I have never seen one agent from one agency coordinate and run so many agencies and half the LEOs in LA as well as you did. How are you still just lead agent in a field office?" 

Don flushed. "I want to be in LA. I've made some sacrifices for that." 

"For your family?" Will asked. 

"Yeah," Don said. 

"Right." Will hoped it wasn't really because of a certain blond-haired, buff special agent on his team. 

"I couldn't leave Charlie and Dad, after Mom died. I couldn't go back to Albuquerque and I really couldn't go back to Fugitive Retrieval." 

That sounded pretty definite. Though Will was sure that Granger being in the LA office certainly made staying sweeter. 

Will pushed Don a little on the shoulder. "Still, that was a damn stupid thing to do, charging at a guy trying to shoot you."  
  
"You were there to watch my back," Don said quietly. 

"Not that you noticed." 

"Doesn't matter," Don said. "You were there." 

Will smiled at him, the remembered terror fading. "Yeah, I was." 

"Like you were later, when I really needed you." 

"You better believe it." Will wrapped his arm around Don's shoulders. "You gonna make a habit of needing me, Eppes?" 

"Oh, yes," Don said warmly. "I fully intend on needing you repeatedly and often." 

"Okay," Will laughed. "Maybe we could have it not include bodily injury in the future." 

"Deal," Don said with a grin. He raised his beer bottle and Will clinked his against it. 

Don found the remote for his old TV and turned it on. He quickly found a Dodgers game, set the remote down, and took a long drink of his beer. He sat back on the couch, returning to the circle of Will's arm. 

After a moment, Don grumbled, "Work tomorrow. Why couldn't it be the weekend? I have an 8am meeting and this taskforce thing." He looked up at Will. "I have some vacation time saved…" 

Will smiled wryly. "So do I. Too bad work is always too busy to take it." 

"Yeah," Don said with a sigh and settled against Will's side. 

"Can I see you after work?" Will asked carefully. "Sometime in the evening?" 

Don pressed closer to him. "Tomorrow evening definitely and every other evening and some mornings and afternoons, if I can swing it. You're going to get sick of tripping over me, but I have four very long months to make up." 

Will tightened his arm around him. "Sounds good, sounds very good." He had more than four months to make up. He felt like he had a lifetime of loneliness to make up. He was going to come on too strong, he knew he was. He wanted Don desperately and in every way and crammed into every corner of his life. He was going to come on too strong, be too overwhelming, ask too much. 

It would probably scare Don away. By this time next week, Don would probably be running for the hills. A rational person would take it slow, go carefully and gently. Will refused to be rational. He refused to do anything but throw all of himself at Don all at once. 

Because he thought maybe, just maybe, Don was strong enough to take it. 

" _Aein_ ," Will said warmly. "How about I cook dinner tomorrow night?" 


	17. A Long Day at the Office

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will owes Simon a story - and a question.

**Part 17: A Long Day at the Office**

When Will walked into the office the next day, his team greeted him with smiles and ribbing. Will shot them a big grin and the teasing increased. 

"Damn," Bonn said. "You look like a cat who got into the cream." 

"I haven't heard it called that," Martinez said, wiggling his eyebrows. 

"Someone definitely got lucky," Rogers said. "You, not the other guy." 

"I thought all Feebs were robots," La Monica said. "You have a thing for robots?" 

"It was all about the pitching," Simon said. "Guys love it when you throw a baseball at their head." 

Will didn't respond to the barbs, just sat down at his desk, put up his feet and grinned some more. 

The comments that winged around him got increasingly raunchy. 

Sanchez came out of her office and silenced them all with raised eyebrows. Then she smiled at Will and said, "Wasn't sure we'd see you in today, at least not in one piece." 

The team returned to laughing and teasing him, until Sanchez cut it off with a gesture and a pointed comment about their latest case. Everyone settled down, though there were a few more jokes and winks sent Will's way. 

Will stared at the white board that Sanchez was writing on, but he would be the first to admit that he wasn't seeing it. Last night had been one of the most amazing of his life. Not only three incredible rounds of sex, but also some stunning declarations from both him and Don. 

He shook his head now at the improbability of it. Don Eppes, saying that he loved Will. Will Stevens, admitting to Don - and himself - that he loved Don. The panic hadn't quite caught up to him yet, the terror of being in love. Last night, Don had been able to help Will keep it all at bay, with every kiss, every word, every warm look from his brown eyes. After the sex and the declarations and the talking, they'd just sat and watched baseball for a while. Eventually, they'd both had to agree it was late, that they were worn out from all the sex, not to mention the baseball game earlier, and they'd see each other soon. Don had walked Will to the door and given him a few more sweet kisses and they'd said those impossible things to each other again. 

Will wondered how long it would last. Don was practically the poster boy for rebound. He was every day around his brother and Granger and must be desperate for a relationship of his own. There was also the hero worship issue, which Will hadn't helped by explaining how he'd saved Don's life twice. Don's view of Will as a white knight was trouble - Will couldn't stay on that pedestal for very long. Soon, Don would be remembering all the grim things he knew about Will and Will's shining armor would tarnish fast. Don didn't even know the half of it, either. Don's love would only last as long as Will could keep up the façade…which was a huge problem because Don seemed to have the innate ability to strip Will's disguises away. 

Will pushed away the depressing reality of the future and focused instead on the current honeymoon. He set his mind to contemplating what he was going to cook Don for dinner and even spared a few thoughts for his job. 

  
  


Later on in the morning, Will saw Simon go into the breakroom and he got up and followed him. 

Simon reached for the coffee pot and grinned at Will. "Have a good night?" 

"No thanks to you," Will mock-grumbled. "If you'd scared him off in the bar, I would have garroted you." 

Simon laughed. "Anybody could tell that he was way too into you to be scared off." 

"I owe you a story," Will said. He got a mug from cupboard and checked to see if it wasn't too filthy. 

Simon poured coffee into his own mug. "There's got to be more to it than 'I met him once and was so interested in this not-out-of-the-closet guy that I busted my balls to see him again.'" 

Will shrugged. "That's the basic idea, yeah. The rest is a lot more complicated." 

Simon eyed him. "Will, you don't have to tell me, if you don't want to. We're just all glad to see you happy." 

"There's…" Will licked his lips. "There's something I need to ask you to do for me." 

"Other than learning to pitch?" Simon teased. "What, you need to learn how to become a hockey goalie?" 

"No, there's a…case I need to see the file for." 

Simon's eyebrows shot up. "Why don't you just look at yourself?" 

"I've seen the official report. I need to know there's anything in your case notes, anything you didn't put in the official report." 

Frowning, Simon pulled out a chair and sat down at the small breakroom table. "Start talking." 

Will took a deep breath, nodded, and sat down in the chair opposite of Simon. He took a sip of his coffee and looked at Simon. How much could he trust him? In the last four months, Simon had become as close as Will had to a friend, but could he trust him with this? 

Simon looked back, waiting. 

"So," Will said slowly. "I need to know that this won't go any farther…" 

"I'm not going to promise…" Simon snapped. 

"It's not illegal or would endanger anyone or…" Will shrugged his shoulders helplessly. "It's about reputation and stupidity. I wouldn't ask anything else of you." Though in fact Will would, he would ask anything of anyone to protect Don, but fortunately he didn't think he would need to cross lines in this case. 

"Okay," Simon said. "I'm listening." 

Will cleared his throat. "You remember about four months ago, I was undercover at the Chamber?" 

"Of course I do, that was a huge case. You did amazing work. Way above and beyond." 

"Thanks. So… Don was there." 

"At the Chamber?" Simon eyed him. "You and him…?" 

"No," Will shook his head. "I was there for a job, not fun." His lips quirked, and he admitted, "Not that I didn't think about it. But my…undercover role and his were not compatible." 

"You were a sub. And he was a sub. Is a sub." 

Will nodded. There was no need to get into the intricacies of being a switch with a straight guy like Simon. But he also didn't want Simon thinking less of Don. "Don was going through some personal stuff and was in a self-destructive mode. The Chamber wouldn't be his normal sort of hang-out. You know it was really hardcore." 

"I don't judge," Simon said, holding up his hands. 

"Good to hear. So Don…got in over his head with the worst Dom in the place, a total psychopath. Don was…" Will grimaced. "Injured." 

Simon's eyes narrowed. "Why do I get a feeling that's an understatement? I've seen the evidence photos of people that they pulled out of there in an ambulance, some with a one-way trip to the morgue. One of the reasons we were all extra happy to shut the place down, beyond the drugs." 

"It was an understatement," Will said. "Let's leave it at that." 

"Okay, but why are you telling me this?" 

"If Don had found there, in that state, you know it would have destroyed his reputation." 

Simon looked like he wanted to argue, but he reluctantly nodded. "So you got him out. After the raid. Not exactly by-the-book, but it was something I'd do for a friend." 

Will smiled in relief. He'd read Simon right. "Yes, I took him home and helped him…recover." 

"But?" 

"But that meant we left his car behind, in the Chamber parking lot. It would have been recorded." 

"Ah," Simon said and his face cleared. "You want to know if I ran the plates, if it's on record that Don was there." 

"Yes." 

"That I can find out for you. I remember that there were at least twenty abandoned cars in the parking lot that we noted, but there was that warehouse next door that shared a parking lot. Don't remember if we went and ran all the plates, beyond finding the cars of our main suspects." 

"I hope not." 

Simon pushed back his chair and picked up his coffee. "Let's find out right now, huh?" 

Will nodded and also picked up his mostly-undrunk coffee. He followed Simon back to his desk. Simon unlocked his computer, sat down, and started muttering to himself as his shifted through the case files. After a few tense minutes, Will trying to look casual and sipping his coffee, Simon finally shook his head. 

"There's a list of plates," Simon said. "But no names attached. So his name isn't here anywhere." 

"Good!" Will said, and bit his tongue on the urge to ask Simon to erase Don's plate from the list. That would definitely be crossing the line for Simon. "Good!" he said again. He patted Simon's shoulder. "Thanks!" 

"No problem, Will," Simon said with a grin. "Happy to pave the way for true love." 

"That might be jumping the gun a little," Will said. 

"I don't know," Simon laughed. "You obviously haven't looked in the mirror this morning." 

Will shrugged one shoulder, a little embarrassed that he was being so transparent today. He raised his mug to Simon and went back to his desk. 

At his desk, he stared at his computer. This was good news, something he should share with Don, but it could wait for tonight. There was no need to bother Don with it now. Don was busy and probably not even thinking about him right now. 

Will's phone buzzed with a text and his pulse jumped with hope. 

He grabbed for it and saw it was indeed from Don. 

/good morning/ 

Will smiled and sent back /good morning/ 

/thinking about you/ 

/me too/ 

/not just when i sit down/ 

Will felt a flush as he remembered the impression that he left on Don's ass. /mine too/ Don had left his own impression on Will's ass. 

Will added, /team teasing me all morning about leaving with you/ 

/mine asked why im glowing/ 

Will's body got even warmer. /glowing all over?/ 

/you bet/ 

/trying to distract me from important job?/ 

/yes! only fair cause im distracted/ 

Before Will could reply, Don texted, /ugh gotta go ttyl/ 

Will responded, /soon/ 

/very soon/ 

Will's smile felt like it stretched from ear to ear. Now he just had to make it through the day and he'd have Don in his arms again tonight. 


	18. Hesitations and Appetites

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don and Will see each other for the first time after that fateful night, and find they have many things still to work through.

  


**Part 18: Hesitations and Appetites**

Will was later leaving work than he would have liked - though he really would have preferred to leave at noon - but Don was also delayed. That gave Will time to go to the grocery store. He'd thought long and hard about what to cook Don tonight. He didn't really know about Don's taste in food. He'd fed him in the days when Don was healing, but that was food geared towards someone with mouth sores, blood loss, and an understandable fear of defecating. Still, Don had seemed to like Will's bibimbap, Korean fried rice, so Will decided to try something not too different from that. He was looking forward to having someone other than himself to cook for. Hopefully he'd have time to explore Don's food preferences before this all fell apart. 

Humming to himself, he pulled up to his house to see that Don's car was parked on the street. He parked in the driveway and they both got out of their cars. Will popped the trunk on his car, but before he got the groceries out, he turned to say hello to Don. 

'Hello' consisted of several long kisses, interspersed with a few mumbled words that might have been greetings. 

Don pulled back and smiled at him. "You got groceries? I thought you had a perfectly stocked refrigerator." 

"Stocked for one," Will said. "And I didn't have the right beer." 

Don picked up one of the grocery bags. "The right beer?" 

"Yeah, to go with the meal." 

"What's wrong with regular beer?" 

"The right beer - or wine - complements the food instead being something to just wash it down." Will hefted the other grocery bag. 

"Oh? And just what are we having for dinner?" 

"Sesame steak stir fry. I've got top round steak, some scallions, vegetables, fresh ginger and a couple of red jalapeños. I already have rice and…" 

Don was grinning. 

"Does that sound good?" Will said, eyeing him. "I got Full Sail Session Black, a lager from Oregon, to go with it." 

Don laughed. "Will Stevens, I think you might be a foodie. It sounds wonderful." 

Will shrugged self-consciously. "Hope it tastes as good as it sounds." 

"I have no doubt," Don said. 

They were at the front door, and Will shifted the bag so he could get out his keys. When he looked over, he saw that the laughter had vanished from Don's face. He opened the door. "You alright?" 

"The last time I was at your house," Don said quietly. "I was hurting, in so many ways." 

Will went into the kitchen and put down his bag. Don slowly followed him and set his bag down as well. 

Will put his arms around Don. "That's in the past. You're so much better now, right?" 

Don rested his head against Will's shoulder. "Thanks to you." 

"No," Will said firmly. "Thanks to you. It was you who got yourself better, both in body and mind." As he said that, Will wondered if he should have, since as long as Don kept thinking that Will was a hero, he would stay around. 

"Maybe," Don said. He stayed in Will's arms for a moment then pushed away. "We should get these groceries into the fridge." 

Will nodded and started to put away the food he'd bought. 

Don peered into his fridge. "More than beer," he commented. "But not a lot more." 

"Been too busy learning to pitch to cook much. Eaten up most of my leftovers." Will mentally ran through the steps for his planned meal. Nodding to himself, he got out the rice cooker and set a batch of rice going. 

When he turned back, Don was looking shyly at him. "Did you really learn how to pitch to…see me?" 

Will thought about lying, but instead just said, "Yes." 

"Wow, that's…" 

Obsession? Fixation? Neurosis? 

"Dedication," Don finished. 

"I had to see you and I didn't know how else to make it happen." 

Don nodded. "Yeah, I was too busy thinking about why I shouldn't call you to make any plans. I was just trying to get by. I didn't go numb again, at least." 

"Good," Will said. That numbness had led Don down a path that nearly killed him. Will put a smile on his face and added, "Besides, you've seen Martinez pitch. I couldn't let people think that was the best the DEA had." 

Don's responding smile was a little wobbly but it was there. "I'm looking at the best the DEA has." 

"You better believe it." Will said. "Oh, that reminds me - I talked with Simon today and your name isn't on record for being at the Chamber." 

"Why would my…Oh right, my car. You wanted to make sure that no one knew I was there." 

"Could wreck your career. Your plate number was listed but not your name, and there was another business there that shared the same parking lot, so you're in the clear." 

"What about Simon?" Don asked uneasily. "What does he think…?" 

"Oh, Simon is fine. He was happy to check his case notes once I explained the situation. Something about paving the way for true love." 

Don nodded. "Good. I never would have thought to follow up on it. You always have my back, don't you…" 

"Never doubt it," Will said with deliberate lightness. "Now, are you hungry or are you…hungry?" 

"Yes," Don said and stepped close to Will. His hands slid up and over Will's shoulders and he pressed his body to Will's. 

"Okay, food second," Will agreed. He squeezed Don's arms. "You okay to go to the bedroom?" 

Will felt Don flinch. His memories of that room must not be pleasant. Will's memories of Don's time in that room were, on the balance, good, which just showed what an obsessed, sick person he was. 

"I have new sheets," Will said, running his hands up and down Don's sides. "100 percent Egyptian cotton with an obscene thread count." 

"You would," Don said shakily. 

"Come on," Will said, tugging on Don. 

Don reluctantly let himself be led down the hall and into the bedroom. 

"I have wanted a healthy you in my bed for so long," Will said huskily. "Let's replace bad memories with good, okay?" 

"Okay," Don said, but his eyes were fastened on Will and he didn't look around. 

Will took Don's face between his hands and kissed him deeply. Don wrapped his arms around Will's waist and pressed himself against him. Will ran his hands over Don's shoulders, down his sides, and around to Don's ass. 

"Hello, you sweet thing," Will murmured. 

That startled a chuckle from Don. "Are you talking to my ass?" 

"Well, there isn't any other part of you that's sweet," Will said, then leaned down and nuzzled Don's hair, nipped his ear, and nibbled on his neck. "Hmm, I just may be wrong there." 

Don smiled like Will hoped he would and loosened his tight hold on Will's waist. Will shuffled Don backwards, until the bed hit Don's knees. Don sat down and pulled Will to come with him. Will leaned over and kissed him, then straightened up and began to take off his clothes. 

A smile still on his face, Don watched Will undress. Will took his clothes off slowly, but resisted the urge to do a full striptease. He was quite skilled at stripping, but really didn't know how Don would react to that and didn't want to weird him out. He reminded himself that Don's experiences with men were fairly limited. It could be a lot of fun, introducing him to new things. He'd have to tread carefully and… 

"Sometime," Don said warmly, "you're going to have to strip for me for real, but right now I'm too hungry." 

Will laughed in surprise and tossed the rest of his clothes off. Don stood up and quickly undressed as well. He climbed onto the bed, still resolutely not looking anywhere but Will, and held out his hands. Will crawled up onto the bed and came into Don's arms. They lay down together and Will pressed his body full-length against Don's. The hard shape of Don's erection nudged his hip, like his poked Don's hip. Then he rolled onto his back and pulled Don on top of him. They kissed for a long moment, Will's hands on Don's ass. He squeezed it rhythmically. 

"I used to lie in this bed and jerk off, thinking of your ass," Will murmured. "Even before you spent any time in this room." 

Don looked down at him. "And afterwards?" 

Will grimaced. "It was really hard to think about your ass without remembering…" 

Don slid off Will and lay on his stomach. He raised his eyebrows at Will. "What are you waiting for? Replace bad memories with good, right?" 

"Yes," Will said with a low growl. He climbed on top of Don, sitting on his thighs. He rubbed Don's back, making wide circles that brought him ever lower. He skimmed the top of Don's ass with his lower palms and circled back up. 

"Will," Don grumbled, his eyes closed. "I'm kind of hungry. You going to take all day?" 

"I was in too much of a hurry yesterday," Will said. "I'm going to take it slow this time." He dropped his voice deeper and said, "I promise it will be worth it." 

Don gave a noisy sigh, but he was smiling as he lay with his head turned on Will's pillow. Will scooted down so he was sitting on Don's calves and began to massage Don's ass with more energy. As he squeezed the ass cheeks, he saw Don's asshole appear and disappear. He ran one thumb down the crack and rubbed the puckered circle. Then he got his other thumb involved and started teasing it wider. 

He leaned over and brushed his hair over Don's fine ass. He'd seen lots of asses in his life, but this one… He leaned further and tickled Don's asshole with his tongue. Don pushed his ass up into the touch and Will smiled. Will shifted his position, braced himself, and without preamble, plunged his tongue into Don's hole. 

Don moaned and Will began to tongue-fuck him ruthlessly. Don squirmed strongly underneath him, but Will held him down with his full weight. He pulled back his tongue long enough to rasp out, "Very sweet," before returning to driving Don crazy. 

Giving his tongue a rest, Will pushed into the wet asshole with his finger, found Don's prostate, started rubbing it - and Don almost went through the roof. 

He jerked his finger out at the sound of genuine pain from Don. 

"Are you okay?" Will stammered. He knew that Don liked to be fucked, but that didn't sound right. 

"Very sensitive," Don said through gritted teeth. "It's like sticking my cock in a light socket when you do that." 

"You don't like any prostate stimulation?" Will said in surprise. 

"I love it," Don said, his body starting to unclench. "It just has to be just right." 

Will raised his eyebrows. He'd been with many men but had never heard of such a thing. A grim thought came into his mind, _I bet Granger knows how to do it just right._ He bit down on his cheek. He could learn this, he'd could learn to do it right. 

Will carefully slid his finger back in and began to softly stroke the sensitive spot. Sighing happily, Don relaxed underneath him. He stroked Don for a long time, trying to memorize the angle and pressure, until Don's hands started to grip the bedsheets. Will pulled his finger out and gave Don's ass a pat. 

Don took several deep breaths as Will got up from the bed. Will went to the bathroom, where he washed his hands, rinsed out his mouth, and got lube and a condom. 

Standing at the bathroom door, he surveyed the fantasy picture of Don laying on his bed, his ass in the air in readiness. Will felt a sudden and completely foreign uncertainty that he was man enough for the task. He hadn't felt unsure with sex since he was a teenager. Gathering himself back together, he reminded himself of his extensive experience and his confidence that he could be anyone a lover wanted him to be. 

Then the breath went out of him. With Don, he couldn't seem to become someone else, couldn't seem to alter his personality to fit the situation. With Don, he was just Will Stevens. And Will Stevens had never been good enough. 

"Hey, where did you go?" Don's muffled voice came from the pillow. He turned his head to look at Will, then frowned. "Will? Everything okay?" 

Will forced a smile onto his face. "Of course." 

Don gave him the exact sort of look Sanchez did, which meant 'I don't believe you but I'm not going to push it right now.' 

At that knowing, familiar look, Will smiled a little more naturally and came over to the bed. 

"Just bad memories," Will lied. "Gotta replace them with new." 

Don gave him that look again, then replaced it up with a sly smile. "I guess you didn't find my ass that sweet. You decide not to fuck me after all? Shall we go cook dinner?" 

"Heh," Will said. "You're not going to get out of it that easily." 

"Maybe I want to get out of it," Don teased. "Maybe you're not that good when it's not up against a wall." 

Will had no idea what flashed across his face, but Don blinked then held out his hand. "C'mere, _aein_." 

Drawn by the endearment, Will put his hand in Don's. Don sat up and pulled Will's lips down to his. They kissed for a moment, then Don murmured against Will's mouth, "You're thinking too much. You and me are dynamite together, and this won't be any different. We can do something else this time." 

Will shook his head. He knew if he backed out now, next time he'd freeze up even more. 

Don scooted back on the bed and pulled Will along with him. He encouraged Will to turn and sit against the backboard of the bed. On his knees, Don took Will's face between his hands and kissed him deeply. He then kissed his way slowly down Will's neck, across Will's chest - pausing for a while at each nipple - then down Will's stomach. Will's erection, which had completely flagged, now began to return. Don took the semi-soft cock into his mouth and sucked him towards hardness. Will rested his hands on Don's head and marveled at the skill and confidence that Don had in this act, considering the first blowjob he ever gave had to have been less than year ago. For the time being, he didn't care that it was some other men who had taught Don how to do this. All he cared about was the slide of Don's lips, the twist of his tongue, the stroking of his gentle, strong hands. Gradually, Will found his way back to the moment and his cock began to throb. 

Will tugged at Don's head. Don gave Will's cock one more suck then sat up, wiping his mouth. Taking hold of Don's shoulders, Will encouraged Don to lie on his back. He moved around the bed until he was between Don's knees. He climbed up Don's body and kissed those lips that were still wet from sucking his cock, then he quickly kissed his way back down. He gave Don's cock a long lick, then pushed Don's knees up and to the side. He sat up and got the lube and condom that he'd left behind. He rolled the condom down over his cock and wet his fingers with lube. 

Remembering Don's sensitivity, he pushed one finger in carefully. He kept his finger mostly away from Don's prostate, added a second finger and began to stretch him. Will looked up at Don's face and Don was watching him with warm anticipation. 

Will pulled his fingers out and wiped them on the blanket. He braced himself with one hand above Don and with the other hand, guided his cock to press against Don's asshole. Don spread his knees wider and held them higher, welcoming him with his body and the expression on his face. Will pushed in slowly but steadily. Don's eyes narrowed with pleasure. 

Once he was all the way in, Will lay flat on Don and kissed him. Don kissed him back, though Will could sense Don struggling to remain patient with Will's unmoving cock in his ass. Will smiled, lifted off of him, and began to rock his pelvis. 

Don sighed happily and closed his eyes. He held Will's shoulders, pressed his head back against the pillow, and squeezed his knees against Will's sides. Will watched Don's face as he continued to fuck him with unhurried strokes. Don's ass gripped his cock just right. It hadn't been his imagination or the urgency of the situation before that made Don's ass feel so good. It was going to be hard to hold himself back and make this last. 

Don's eyes suddenly opened and he met Will's gaze. The connection between their eyes was almost as electric as the connection between their bodies. To his surprise, Will found he didn't feel the need to say anything, just keep his body moving and watch the pleasure on Don's face. Don's hands slid back and forth between Will's shoulders, his neck, his hair. 

Will paused and sat up, his cock still in Don's ass. He reached behind himself to find the lube bottle and squeezed some onto one hand. With his slick hand, he began to stroke Don's cock. Gasping quietly, Don pushed up into his hand. Will braced himself one-handed over Don. Don lifted his head and they kissed as Will stroked him. Will marveled at the level of ease and rhythm of their joined movements. They had been lovers less than 24 hours but there was no awkwardness, or even any bumped elbows, overstretched knees or unwanted ticklishness. They moved together like practiced partners. 

When Will felt Don getting close, he began to rotate his pelvis, fucking Don with short, hard strokes. Don moaned and dropped his head back to the pillow. His eyes locked with Will's. Will saw Don's orgasm rising in his face and Will pushed himself to catch up. 

Don abruptly cried out and his cock was pulsing in Will's hand. His ass squeezed around Will's cock and Will was coming too, emptying himself inside that perfect ass. 

They rocked together for a long while, until Will's bracing arm began to shake too much and he sagged to lie down on Don. 

Don wrapped his arms around Will's body and rubbed his cheek against Will's cheek. "Dynamite," Don murmured. "Even better than the first time." 

Will smiled in relief and snuggled closer to Don. "Sweet," he whispered in Don's ear. "Even sweeter than the first time." 

After a moment, Don said, a smile in his voice, "Okay, Stevens, you've taken me home and fucked me. Now you have to feed me." 


	19. Dinner for Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will prepares dinner for Don, with a side dish of undercurrents.

**Part 19: Dinner for Two**

"Always thinking with your stomach," Will grumbled but rolled off of Don. 

"Only until other body parts are recovered," Don said cheerfully. 

They climbed out of bed, Will pleased to see that Don's legs looked as wobbly as his were, and cleaned up. Don got fully dressed but Will just pulled on his jeans and went barefoot and shirtless into the kitchen. 

Will got out a bowl and put in brown sugar, soy sauce, cornstarch, water, and sesame oil. He found a whisk and handed the bowl and whisk to Don who had sat down at the table. 

"Whisk this," he instructed. 

Don took the bowl, looking skeptical. 

Will got out the steak and a sharp knife. He quickly sliced the steak into thin strips. He looked over at Don who was just pushing the marinade around. 

Will put his hand over Don's on the whisk. "Use some energy," he said and showed Don how to do it. 

He let go of Don's hand and watched him for a second to make sure that he was doing it right. Nodding, he got out the scallions, English cucumbers, napa cabbage, carrots and jalapeños and started slicing and chopping. When he was done with that, he peeled the ginger and set it on the table next to Don. 

"Mince me about a tablespoon of that," he said. He took the bowl of marinade from Don and handed him a sharp knife. 

"How much is a tablespoon?" 

Will snorted and got a tablespoon measuring spoon out of the drawer to show him. He slid the steak into the marinade and tossed it to cover the steak. He frowned, hoping that he'd gotten enough steak. Oh well, if Don was still hungry after dinner, there was always dessert… 

Smiling, Will heated a large skillet and poured some sesame oil into it. He found a hair tie on top of the fridge - they were scattered around the house - and pulled his hair back into a ponytail. The oil on the skillet was popping and ready. He added the cucumbers, scallions and cabbage. He almost added in the carrots but stopped himself just in time. He blew out a breath of relief. He didn't want to serve Don overcooked carrots. He stir-fried the vegetables for a couple of minutes then it was time to add the carrots and a little water. Once those were ready, he took them off the heat. 

When he turned to transfer the stir-fry to a bowl, he found Don watching him avidly. 

"God, that's hot," Don said huskily. 

"What?" Will laughed. "Someone cooking for you?" 

"You cooking in no shirt or shoes and making cooking look like a dance." 

Will grinned at him. "You're just trying to flatter the cook." 

"No," Don said, leaning his head on his hands and watching Will dreamily. "But that does smell really good." 

Will laughed again, then he saw the pile of ginger chunks on the cutting board. "You get distracted?" 

"Hmm?" 

Will pointed to the ginger. "You were supposed to mince it." 

"I did. Isn't that a tablespoon?" 

"Don, that's roughly chopped, not minced." 

Don raised his eyebrows. "What's the difference?" 

Will smiled. "It's the difference between a tickle and a punch in the face." 

"What?" 

"I should put those ginger lumps in the stir-fry, just to see your face when you run across one." 

"But you wouldn't," Don smiled back. "Because you would never knowingly ruin your cooking." 

"You don't know that for sure," Will said, picking up the knife and starting to chop the ginger into finer pieces. 

"Oh, yes, I do," Don said. "You're the man who wasn't happy with being an okay pitcher, but had to work hard enough to be a good one." 

Will shrugged one shoulder. Don was right, but he shouldn't know Will that well yet. Will finished with the ginger and set down the knife. "That's minced." 

Don studied the pile of ginger, then nodded. "Okay." He suddenly laughed. "You should have said something about desired spatial dimensions and… God, I am turning into my brother." 

"I'm going to have to meet him sometime, formally, I mean." 

Something dark flashed across Don's face, then he put on a cheerful expression and said, "What's next? The jalapeños?" 

Will eyed him. It looked like Don wasn't as far out of the closet as he'd thought, if he didn't want Will to meet his brother. Or maybe it was just Will that Don was ashamed of and Will had completely misunderstood the nature of their new relationship. 

Controlling his voice with effort, Will said, "Next is ginger and jalapeños." He turned back to the stove and wiped out the skillet. He added fresh oil to the skillet and set it to heat. He put the steak bowl on the counter next to him. 

Don came around behind him, carrying the ginger. Without meeting Don's eyes, Will took the ginger and dumped it in the skillet. He added the jalapeños and stir-fried them for a 30 count. Then he transferred the steak into the skillet with the ginger and jalapeños and began to brown it. Don stood close to him, though not too close. 

"Anything else I can offer to do poorly?" Don asked. 

Will's lips quirked and he looked over at Don. Don was looking warmly at him and Will wondered if he'd imagined Don's expression earlier. No, there was something there, but… Will mentally pulled back from all the things that were going to go wrong in the near future and concentrated on the wonderful present. 

"Check and see if the rice cooker 'done' light is on," Will said. "Don't know how you could mess that up." 

"I could find a way," Don said. "I'm very talented in messing things up." 

_Oh, you and me both, Eppes. You and me both._

"Try not to electrocute yourself," Will said with a smile and turned back to the stove. The steak was ready, and he added the rest of the steak marinade back to the skillet. 

Don began to open up cabinets and drawers, presumably looking for plates and silverware. "I don't know if I'm going to find alphabetized spices in here or Eye of Newt." 

"I file it under 'S' for Shakespearean spices." 

Don laughed - Will was never going to get tired of that sound - and found the plates. 

The marinade had thickened, so he stirred the cooked vegetables in. When he was sure that everything was heated through, he moved the skillet aside and turned off the stove. 

Don had done a passable job of setting the table. He'd found the rice paddle and was digging out some rice for each plate. A warm flush went through Will at the domestic scene. He wanted to hold the moment frozen, but he knew that moments like this couldn't last. 

Will saw that Don had gotten out beer mugs for the beer, and Will tried to not say anything, but Don was right - he couldn't resist trying to be good at something, even things that didn't matter. 

"Get out the snifter beer glasses," Will said. 

"The what?" Don said. 

"The… they're actually for brandy, but they work really well for stronger craft brews." 

Don opened the cabinet, got out a pair of wide flat stemmed glasses and put the mugs back. Not looking at Will, he said, "Do you do a lot of entertaining?" 

"Almost never," Will said. "And I never bring anyone to my house." 

Don's eyes flashed up to his in surprise. 

Will came close to Don and took the glasses from him. "And here I can't seem to stop bringing you home." 

"Lucky me," Don said softly. 

"You better believe it," Will said. He put the glasses on the table and got the skillet from the stove. He spooned a portion of it over the rice on each plate. Sniffing the air, Don quickly took his seat. Will sat down across from him and did the same. Don picked up his fork and Will tried not to hold his breath. 

Don dug his fork into his stir-fry, brought a fork-full to his mouth, and chewed slowly. Then he let out a low, almost obscene moan. "God, Will, this is amazing." 

Will's shoulders relaxed - he hadn't even been aware that they'd been tight - and he picked up his own fork. He tried it himself. "Could have used a few more minutes of thickening." 

"I couldn't wait, though," Don said. He opened his beer and poured it into his glass. He ate a few more large bites, then took a drink of his beer. His first reaction was a grimace, then his face turned thoughtful and he took another drink. "What's this again?" 

"Full Sail Session Black." 

"Not bad." 

Will smiled. He added another mental entry to his slim catalog of Don's food tastes. He could get Don to really appreciate good beer, if he only had enough time. 

They ate in companionable silence. Don kept chewing and swallowing with every sign of delight. Will made sure that the fork kept going from his plate to his mouth, but he was mostly just paying attention to Don. 

Don finally set down his fork and gave a big sigh of satiety. "That was amazing, though I'm not sure if I liked the first course better or the second." 

"First course?" Will hadn't served a salad or soup. 

Don laughed at his expression. "I meant in the bedroom." 

"Ah. I'd definitely vote for first course." 

"That's because you probably eat like this all the time. I get fast food or take-out or my Dad's lasagna." 

"You could always cook," Will teased. "I think your kitchen had a stove." 

"I'm not sure," Don said. "There's this funny looking counter by the fridge. Might be it." 

"Well, I'd offer to send home some leftovers from tonight, but you ate it all." 

" _We_ ate it all," Don corrected. "Did you like it?" 

He was tempted to say that it was the company that had made the meal enjoyable, but that was too cliché even for him. Instead, he just shrugged. "It was fine." 

"Tough crowd," Don said with a smile. "Can I help with the dishes?" 

"Sure," Will said. When it came to meal cleanup, he followed American-polite which meant guests offering to help was good manners, versus Korean-polite which meant guests offering to help was an insult. It was his house, he could set the rules, right? 

They stood up and cleared the table. Don scraped the remainder of the rice into the trash while Will put the dishes into the sink. The dishes made a pleasantly large pile, versus his usual sparse cleanup. 

Will wondered how many days a week he could get away with cooking for Don. Two times? Four? He remembered his vow of yesterday to not go slow, to throw all of himself at Don all at once. In the light of day, that felt foolhardy. He'd be wiser to ration out small amounts of himself, to make this wonderful period of blissful ignorance last longer. He should cook for Don once a week, twice at the most, and try to skip some days seeing him. It would be painful, but not as painful as getting to the end of this relationship faster. 

Don came up behind him and put his arms around him. "So, Chef Stevens, what are you going to cook me tomorrow?" 

Will grinned. 


	20. Friendship and Its Advantages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will and Don explore the limits of their friendship, then the limits of Will's couch.

**Part 20: Friendship and Its Advantages**

While they did the dishes, Will quizzed Don on his taste in food. It turned out that Don had a pretty wide-ranging appreciation for food and was willing to try almost anything. Don was a typical Fed - never taking time to eat properly, just wolfing down his food between cases, and drinking way too much alcohol. Will started making plans for meals, giving himself a… perhaps a three month time frame. That was pretty optimistic. He better front-load his schedule with dishes he really wanted to make. He also wanted to take Don to some of his favorite restaurants, to try out some dishes that Will didn't think he could manage at home. 

As they put everything away, Don asked, "Will, why do you care so much what I think about your cooking?" 

Will grimaced. That was a morass of issues that he didn't want to get into, didn't want to explain how he came from a family where food was love and he starved. 

Finally, Will said, "I like food. And you know me, I like to do things well." 

"There's more to it than that." 

Will tried to find something to say that would stop the line of questioning. "My mother taught me." That wasn't a complete lie. He learned from watching her and eating at her table, even if she rarely allowed him in her kitchen. 

"Oh," Don said. His eyes were curious, but thankfully he backed off. They finished putting away the dishes and went into the front room. Will's old couch wasn't particularly comfortable but it was okay if you weren't trying to sleep on it. 

"Want to watch something?" Will asked, finding the TV remote. 

"Yeah, I want to watch the game." 

"What game?" Will asked innocently. 

"Baseball," Don said with rolled eyes. "The Giants are in town, what else?" 

"Oh, Dodgers-Giants game, is that a big deal?" 

Don gave him a disgusted look and took the remote from him. Will laughed and got some reports he needed to read while Don found the right channel. They both sat down on the couch. Don put his feet up on the coffee table, his arm around Will and proceeded to get absorbed in the game. Will watched him for a moment, enjoying how Don lived and died on each pitch. He wanted to say, 'Tell me about your day,' as if this were a normal day for a normal couple. He knew he didn't have any right to ask, though. With a sigh, he turned to his report. 

After a while, Don stretched and sat up. 

"You got more of that beer?" Don asked. "Or do you only pair it with food?" 

"In the fridge," Will said, focused on his report. 

"Want one?" 

"Water, please." 

Don went into the kitchen and returned with the drinks. 

Will mumbled his thanks and took a sip of water. 

"Whatcha reading?" Don asked. "Other than work reports, obviously." 

Will shook his head. "Grim stuff. You don't want to hear it." 

"I do," Don said. "If you want to tell me." 

Will eyed him. "Why?" 

"I…" Don looked down at his hands. "So maybe sometimes I can tell you about my job." 

"Why?" Will asked again. 

Don gave a one-shouldered shrug. "My job, it can get pretty horrible, the things I see. I can't share them with anybody. I mean, my Dad and Charlie, I can't tell them. Charlie sees enough as it is. The rest of my friends are my team, and they already know and don't really want to talk about it outside of work." He looked up at Will. "I'd like to be able to tell you." 

Will's heart warmed. "I would be happy to hear it." He shook his head with a wry laugh. "Not happy, but you know what I mean." 

"Good," Don said with a smile. "I'll hold you to that." 

Before Will could say more, Don's eyes grew thoughtful. "Larry. And Coop." 

"What?" 

"I was trying to think if I have any actual friends outside of work. There's Larry, who's a professor with Charlie at CalSci. Larry Fleinhart." He gave a chuckle. "Larry's… Larry's really hard to explain. You'll understand when you meet him." 

Will's heart warmed again at the idea that he might be in Don's life long enough to meet this Larry. "And Coop?" 

"Coop, now, you'll probably never meet. I rarely see him. Agent Billy Cooper. We used to work together in Fugitive Retrieval. Still count him as a good friend, though." 

Will nodded. He'd read up on that branch of the FBI when he learned that Don had worked in it. Agents travelled constantly. 

"Oh, and Ian." Don smiled at him. "I think Ian you'd either get along great with or there would be blood." 

"Ian?" 

"Agent Ian Edgerton." 

Will blinked at him. "You know Ian Edgerton? He's your _friend_?" 

"Yeah, why?" 

"Even in the DEA we've heard of Ian Edgerton. He's a ghost and a brilliant sniper. He's like…" 

"The bastard son of Dirty Harry and Yoda." 

"What?" Will laughed. 

"Colby said that once. He's a total fanboy." 

Will hid the tremor of anxiety and anger that mention of Granger always gave him. "Sounds about right." 

Don frowned thoughtfully. "Amita, maybe. No, probably not anymore." 

Will raised his eyebrows. 

"She used to date Charlie. That didn't end well, now that Colby is with Charlie." 

Was that envy in Don's voice? Will couldn't tell over the pain of his clenched teeth. 

Don gazed into space for a moment and Will worked on unclenching his jaw. Don shook his head. "That's about it. And none of them I can talk to, not really." 

Will put a smile on his face and focused on the moment. Don was asking for greater emotional intimacy and Will didn't want to ruin it by jealousy. 

"Well, Agent Eppes," he said with mock seriousness. "Let me read you into this case." 

  
  


Later, the game was over and Will's case had been thoroughly discussed. Don had actually had some useful insights, things Will couldn't wait to bring up to Sanchez, though he'd have to admit that he'd shared a confidential case file outside of the department. He was pretty sure that Sanchez wouldn't mind. She was all about results and Don's suggestions might bring the breakthrough they needed. Will was thrilled all over again at how intelligent Don was. Intelligent enough to see through Will sooner or later. 

Don turned off the TV, a little grouchy because the Dodgers had lost. He turned to Will, though, and his grouchiness vanished. "So, Chef Stevens, what do you have in mind for dessert?" 

Will smiled and pulled Don closer. "Well… I had contemplated a chocolate torte." 

"A what?" 

"Flourless chocolate cake," Will said. He slid his hands over Don's shoulders. "But then I decided to go with something more… earthy." 

Don grinned and he ran his hands down Will's chest. "Want to go into the bedroom? Or should we kill this couch the rest of the way?" 

Will leaned forward and kissed Don's face. "Couch," he murmured. He had memories of Don in his bedroom, his bathroom, and now his kitchen. He wanted to impress Don on his family room as well. 

His lips met Don's and they kissed for a while with their hands roaming over each other's bodies. Will was still shirtless and worked quickly to get Don to match. Don reached into Will's hair and tugged at the band holding it back. Will chuckled and took out the hair tie. He had the feeling that if Don had his way, he would never wear his hair back. Don slid his fingers through Will's hair then returned to the rest of his available skin. 

Will stood up and stripped out of his clothes. Don did the same. Don then sat back down on the couch, his cock pointing straight up in readiness. 

"Don't go anywhere," Will said, and hurried to the bedroom to get a condom and lube. Picking them up, he realized that he didn't know who would be wearing the condom. He grinned in anticipation. Negotiations, indeed. 

Will returned to the family room and set the condom and lube on a side table. Don reached out for him and he sat down on the couch next to him. They kissed deeply, their hands automatically going to each other's cocks. Will remembered admiring Don's hands while he watched him play baseball. They felt even better wrapped around Will's cock than he had imagined. 

"I could kiss you forever," Don murmured against Will's lips. "I love your mouth." 

Will smiled. "You never want me to move my mouth elsewhere?" 

"Okay, maybe," Don laughed. 

Will slid down from the couch and kneeled in between Don's knees. He leaned forward and kissed Don's chest and stomach, before taking that waiting cock into his mouth. He had been giving blowjobs for almost two decades and had learned a thing or two. Don was soon moaning above him. 

"Oh, God," Don said. "Love your mouth." His hands were buried in Will's hair and his legs trembled against Will. 

Will pulled back and looked up at Don. He loved seeing Don so flushed and close to the edge. He loved more the fact that Don was looking flushed and close to the edge on Will's own couch, with Will's familiar artwork on the wall behind him. The landscape photo of a lightning strike over LA had been Will's since college, and it framed Don's head perfectly. Will tried to impress the vision into his memory, so that in the years to come, he could bring it back to mind. 

Don blinked fuzzily down at him. 

Will stood up, smiling. "You know, I love your mouth, too." He climbed onto the couch, kneeling with his knees on either side of Don's thighs. Don quickly scooted down and took Will's cock into his mouth. Don sucked and licked and demonstrated that decades of experience weren't required to be good at this. Will pressed his forehead against the photograph of the lightning, feeling like the lightning was going straight through his body. 

Don's hands were squeezing Will's ass as his mouth worked Will's cock. Don's hand reached out for the lube bottle at the same time as Will's. Will shook his head in amazement. Apparently the negotiations had already happened and they'd agreed that Will's ass needed lube. 

Will drizzled some lube onto Don's waiting fingers and Don reached back around. Soon he was sliding two fingers in and out of Will's asshole as he bobbed up and down on Will's cock. 

Will must have made some sort of sound of warning because Don raised his head and grinned at Will. After putting on a condom, Don smeared lube on his cock and held it ready. Will positioned himself then slowly impaled himself on Don's cock, his knees bent up at Don's sides. Don kissed Will's chest while he let Will get adjusted to Don inside him. 

Don began to rotate his pelvis, fucking Will with short, slow strokes. Don looked up at Will and Will smiled down at him, shaking his hair so that it fell around Don's upturned face. 

Don's right hand went to Will's cock and held it as he moved, causing just enough friction to be pleasurable without letting Will get any closer to orgasm. Don kept things slow and smooth and his cock rubbed perfectly against Will's prostate. 

Don's left-hand fingers started to dig in to Will's hip, showing that he was getting close. Will gripped the back of the couch tightly and began to move as well, pulling up as Don went down and driving down as Don went up. He turned Don's shallow fucking into something deeper and harder. 

"Oh, yeah," Don moaned. His hand tightened on Will's cock, causing Will to fuck himself inside Don's hand as he bounced. Don's head was thrown back, his eyes closed and his mouth open and panting. Will wished he had a hand free to slide his fingers between those luscious lips. He moved his head to brush a strand of hair against Don's mouth. Don closed his lips over the hair and began to suck it. Will continued to move, now feeling a twinge on his scalp with every bounce as Don pulled his hair. 

Will's legs began to shake and his balls tightened and he shot his cum over Don's hand. Don moaned, freeing Will's hair, and slammed up into Will. Will held onto the couch as Don flailed underneath him, his hand pulling wildly on Will's still spurting cock. 

Finally, he slowed and stopped and they were both gasping loudly. Don's hand released Will's cock and slid over Will's messy stomach. Will peeled one hand off the back of the couch and caressed Don's cheek. 

Don sighed happily. "God, I love your cooking." 


	21. Stay the Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will and Don discuss sleeping arrangements.

  


**Part 21: Stay the Night**

They untangled themselves and half-climbed, half-fell off the couch. Will stretched out his legs and Don wobbled out of the room to dispose of his condom and get a towel. Will smiled at how comfortable Don already was at getting things in his house. 

Don came back, wiping down his chest, and laughed at Will still sitting on the floor. "You cramp up?" 

Will looked slowly up Don's naked body. "Naw. I just like the view from here." 

Don tossed the towel in his face. 

Will laughed and cleaned himself up. He shot the towel back at Don. "Hamper's in the bathroom." 

"You just want to see me walk around more," Don grumbled. 

"Of course!" Will might have to invest in a second set of towels, if he and Don were going to go through them at this rate. 

While Don was out of the room, Will made his unsteady way to his feet. He located his underwear and jeans, and the lube bottle which had rolled under the table. Don came back and began to sort out his own clothes. Will wondered how soon he could suggest that Don keep an extra set of clothes here. A month, at least. 

They both got dressed, much more slowly then they got undressed, and sat down together on the couch. Don picked up the remote but didn't turn the TV on. He cleared his throat. 

"Will," Don said. "Would it be okay if I stayed here tonight? I don't have any early meetings tomorrow." 

"Sure," Will said readily. "You can stay whenever you like." 

Don looked relieved. Had he doubted that Will would say yes? If Don actually moved in to live tomorrow, Will would be thrilled. 

"I can stay even if you're not here?" Don teased. "You've got some good beer in the fridge and I bet there's always leftovers." 

Will's smile faded. 

Don backtracked, "I don't have to, I was just…" 

"No, you're welcome to come over any time, day or night. I just may not be here a lot." 

Don raised his eyebrows. 

Will pulled Don close. "I love my job, I'm good at my job." 

"I know you are." 

"But what I'm best at is undercover work, which often means disappearing for days or weeks or even months." 

Don's eyes widened. "Months?" 

"Yeah, before you it wasn't a big deal, but…" 

Don put his hand on Will's arm. "I'm never going to get in to way of you doing your job. It's part of you, I get it." 

Will put his hand on top of Don's. "We'll see if 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' or 'out of sight, out of mind.'" 

"Fonder," Don said firmly. "Though…" His eyes went to the reports that he had discussed with Will earlier. "If that's your usual, this heart is going to grow very anxious." 

"Oh, it's usually not so bad," Will lied. 

Don eyed him. "I know that you are a hell of an agent, Will Stevens. I get the feeling that your work at the Chamber was a cakewalk compared to your usual." 

Will looked away from Don. The Chamber had indeed been an easy job. While most undercover agents would have been uncomfortable with the intense sexual requirements of being at the Chamber, it had been almost a vacation for Will. He hadn't been constantly balanced on the knife edge of death, of betraying his identify to some of the most dangerous and psychotic people in LA. While the dealers at the Chamber had certainly had guns and would have shot him if they'd found him out, the dealers had been business people first. The psychos in the building had been the Doms like Channing, and Will knew how to make Doms happy. Most of his other cases, he was working with more volatile people. Though Don would probably be surprised at how often that also included sex. 

"Do you know in advance when you're going under?" Don asked. 

"Sometimes," Will said. "Often I get less than an hour's warning." 

"Can you let me know?" Don asked, squeezing Will's arm. "So you don't just disappear?" 

Will smiled. "I'll let you know, if I can." He wanted to ask Don if he could put him on his emergency contact list, along with his sister, but that was way too much. They'd only been together for 24 hours. 

"I may…" Don shrugged uncomfortably. "I may have to introduce myself to your boss, so I can beg for updates." 

That made Will's throat feel tight. He'd never had anyone missing him before. "You've already met my boss. She was playing shortstop." 

Don's eyes grew vague as he tried to remember. "Right. Small Hispanic woman, fast. Good trash talker." 

Will nodded. "That's her. Best boss I've ever had, and I've been through a few." 

"Me, too," Don said with a smile. "They break easily, don't they?" 

Will chuckled. "Yes, they do. The rest of my team is pretty good, too, though Martinez is an ass. We have one of the best user-dose removal rates on the west coast. Helps that LA is a major pipeline to everywhere. I speak Korean and Spanish and that gets me into a lot of places." 

"Spanish?" 

"Sure, I grew up in LA, right?" 

"I did too," Don said. "But I never learned." 

"We had a Spanish-speaking babysitter for a while," Will said lightly. "And I had a good friend from Mexico. Our neighborhood was pretty diverse. Then I studied it in High School." The truth was that he had honed his Spanish while sucking Latino cocks, and knew more obscene phrases in Spanish than he did in English. 

"That's cool," Don said. "Wish I knew Spanish." 

"You could always learn." 

"I could. But I'm too old and inflexible." 

Will pulled him close. "You seemed pretty flexible a moment ago." 

"Not as much as you," Don grinned. "I am definitely going to have to push your limits, Stevens." 

Will managed not to reply, 'I don't have any.' That was patently untrue but his sexual limits had been pushed so much that he sometimes felt like an overstretched balloon that other people filled with their desires. His emotional limits, on the other hand, were tight and choking. 

Don turned on the TV, to a sports show rehashing the baseball game they had just watched. 

"More baseball?" Will complained. 

"I thought it was your new favorite sport," Don teased. 

"I really just like to watch the men in their uniforms," Will said and slid his hand down Don's back. 

Don smiled, but his attention had been grabbed by the TV. Will scooted closer to Don, put his arm around him, and leaned his cheek against Don's hair. He put his feet up on the coffee table and closed his eyes. He could still feel the shape of Don's cock in his ass, taste him in his mouth. 

This was heaven. 

Every time that Will had managed to restrain himself from asking too much, Don went ahead and asked for both of them. What had Don said yesterday? That Will was going to get tired of tripping over him? Not likely. Will needed to stop holding back and just focus on wringing every bit of happiness out of this relationship before he had to go undercover or the relationship came to its inevitable end, whichever came first. 

Don yawned loudly. "Good food, good sex, long day. I'm about falling asleep." 

"Bed," Will agreed. 

He got up and went into the bedroom. Don followed him in after turning off the TV and the lights. 

"Why are you making the bed?" Don asked with a smile. "We're just about to get into it." 

"We messed it up earlier," Will said. "Or have you forgotten?" 

"Not at all," Don said. "My body remembers very well, and I wish it would stop because you're going to kill me." 

Will laughed. "That would be a tragedy. And an ignominious end to your illustrious career." 

"Ignominious? Illustrious?" 

"I'm tired. It takes work to talk down to your level." 

Don snorted and gave him a shove. 

Will peeled off his jeans. "Would it kill you if I slept in the nude? I usually do." 

"Yes, it would kill me," Don said. "Unless I can too." 

"Absolutely." 

They got undressed and slid under the sheets. Don gave a moan of appreciation. "These sheets are amazing." 

"Not as amazing as you are," Will mumbled, reaching out for Don. 

Don curled up against him with a happy sigh. 

"Love you, Will," Don said. "Every bit of you." 

Will smiled sadly. There were so many bits of him that Don would not love if he knew. Will closed his eyes. "Love you, Don. Every bit of you." 

To himself he added, 'Now and after.' 


	22. Early Morning Thoughts and Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will tries to narrow his hopes and Don tries to broaden them.

  


**Part 22: Early Morning Thoughts and Words**

Will woke early and just lay with his arms around Don. Don was a bit of a snorer, but Will didn't mind. He was warm, comfortable, and had the man he loved in his bed. As much as he wanted to just live in this moment, a question plagued him: how long would this last? 

Okay, this second-guessing wasn't going to work. He would ruin the time he did have with Don if he kept focusing on the future. One month, he'd plan out one month. If he didn't have to go undercover, he thought he could stay on the Hero pedestal for one month. He grimaced as he remembered how he struggled to lie around Don. Don didn't interrogate him - Will just looked into those brown eyes, opened his mouth, and the truth fell out. Lies were crucial here. A good man like Don wouldn't be able to tolerate the sins of Will's past. 

Okay, one week. 

What did Will want to do the most? Will contemplated while he listened to Don's deep breathing. He wanted to cook for him again. He wanted to go out to the nearby park or go on a hike in the hills behind his house. He wanted to take Don to his current favorite restaurant. He wanted to have memories of Don in every corner of his life. A rational man might keep a few places free of memories, so that he could go there in the future without pain, but Will knew he'd be haunted by Don's ghost anyway. 

Will lay there, holding Don and planning out the week. 

 

The sun had risen by the time Don stirred and mumbled. He opened his eyes slowly. The smile on his face made Will's heart thud. 

"Wow, I haven't slept that well in ages," Don said. He pulled Will down for a kiss. 

Quickly, the kiss turned warm and their naked bodies were rubbing together. Don had morning wood and soon Will did too. They kissed, and stroked each other's cocks until they came over each other's hands. 

"Mmm," Don said. "Best alarm clock ever." 

"Yeah," Will agreed. He gave Don a few more kisses then threw the covers back so they wouldn't get messy. He climbed out of bed and headed for the bathroom. 

"You should leave a towel by the bed," Don called. 

Will came back, wiping off himself. "Planning on sleeping here regularly?" 

"I'd like to," Don said, almost shyly. 

"I do have better sheets than you do," Will replied with a smile. He leaned over Don and draped the towel over his stomach. "You're welcome any night. I hate to sleep alone." 

"Oh, is that all it is?" Don said, sounding a little hurt. 

"No," Will said. "Two nights ago I would have claimed that I love sleeping alone. I just never had the right bed partner before." 

Don relaxed. 

Will thoughtfully watched Don clean himself. "I don't bring people into my home, you know. Not anyone." 

"But me." 

"Yes. And I haven't had a boyfriend in…" Will frowned. If a boyfriend was someone you expected to have a long-term relationship with, he hadn't had one since Jim, almost seven years ago. Since then he'd had hundreds upon hundreds of hookups and even a few regular fuck-buddies, but nothing that he cared about whether it lasted. 

"…in a long while," he finally said. 

"I've never had one," Don said with a smile. 

Will grabbed the towel and turned away to avoid showing his surprise and confusion. Hadn't Granger been a boyfriend? Will couldn't remember the exact words that Don used to describe his relationship with Granger but it had felt pretty definite at the time. A strong enough relationship that Don was destroyed by its ending. No, to be fair what destroyed him was that Granger went to his brother. Don had talked about all the things that his brother had taken from him, and Granger was just the latest. 

Will put thoughts of Granger out of his mind with an effort. By the time he'd returned from the bathroom, he was ready to start on his plans for the week. 

"I was thinking," Will said as he started to get dressed for the day. "We should investigate if that funny-looking counter in your apartment is really a stove." 

Don paused in looking for his own clothes. "Why? Your kitchen is so much better." 

"Well," Will tried to explain without revealing too much. "I want to cook for you in your place. I want to sleep in your bed." 

Don smiled. "Okay, that does sound nice." 

Will didn't mention that he wanted to see Don in his regular routine, so he would be able to picture him going about his life when Will was no longer welcome in it. 

And some part of him also wanted to scatter his own ghosts through Don's life, to haunt him after Will was gone. 

"At the bar," Don said. "When you asked me 'your place or mine', one of the reasons that I wanted to go to my place, other than it was closer, was that I wanted you impressed on my apartment." 

Will gave him a slow smile, at his words and at the embarrassed flush warming Don's cheeks. Setting down the shirt he was getting on, Will went over and wrapped his arms around Don, who was also still partially dressed. "I seem to remember leaving impressions on your apartment all over the place." 

Don's arms slid around him as well and his warm smile matched Will's. "You did. I'm never going to look at that spot on my wall without remembering you." 

"I didn't leave any spots," Will mock-protested. "You're the one who came on the wall." 

"Because you were hammering my ass," Don said, pushing his lower body against Will's. 

"I remember," Will said huskily. His body was already warming up again, even if it was getting time for them to head to work. 

"But it was more than that," Don said, tightening his arms. "I can look at my couch now and remember sitting there with you. I can remember you commenting on my empty fridge. I can remember the first time you told me you loved me, laying in my bed." 

Will shook his head in amazement. Don understood. 

Will replied, "I want it too. That was one of the reasons I wanted to have sex on my couch instead of going back to my bed. But the baseball game and talking was good too. I wanted to impress you on my place." 

"I've already spent a lot more time here than you have at my place," Don said, and he was obviously not just referring to last night. 

"So you want to even it out?" 

"Some," Don said. "But I have to admit, I like your place a whole lot more than mine." 

"It's just the sheets, and the kitchen." 

"True, but it's also you. You live here, I don't really live there. This house feels like you." 

Will nodded. He'd tried to make his home more than just a way station between assignments. "Where do you live?" 

"At my parent's- Charlie's house, and the office." 

Will said cautiously, "Maybe we could put my place in the rotation as well?" 

"You better believe it." 

"I, um." Will cleared his throat. "I… have an extra key." 

Don raised his eyebrows. 

"Sorry, too soon, way too soon," Will backpedaled. 

"No, I… I would be honored," Don said quietly, then he added with a wink. "You hardly know me, Will. I could have wild parties at your place while you're gone." 

"I know you," Will said simply. "That key is in good hands." 

Don's eyes met his with a look of wonder. "You know what, you do know me. In just a few days total, you know me so well, and I'm not just talking about how you can play me like a fiddle in sex. You have this amazing power over me, like no one I've ever known." 

Will blinked. Don felt that way about him? Don was the one who was controlling him. "You're the one who has the power over me," he said hoarsely. "I feel like a puppet." 

"No, no," Don said. "Not a puppet, I don't want you to feel like a puppet." 

"No, not quite a puppet," Will admitted. Don wasn't a puppet-master, he was… He was an impossible fantasy. He was teasing Will with the glimpse of a life, of a relationship, that people like him just didn't get. 

"But it's a good thing," Don continued. "You see me, _me_. I don't know how you do it." 

Will stared at him. Did Don have personas that had to be stripped away? Did Don hide? 

"You know about me," Don said quietly. "Why do I get the feeling I have so much more to learn about you?" 

Will grimaced and pulled away from Don. "When it comes to me, ignorance is bliss." 

"I don't want to be ignorant," Don said, catching his hand. 

"Yes, you do," Will snapped. 

"No," Don said, gently but with conviction. "I don't. I'm not going to push, but I want to know you better." 

Will gave a tight shake of his head. At this rate, they weren't going to even last a week. 

Don let go of his hand, but he looked sad. "I love you, Will." 

"I love you, too. Can we just live in the honeymoon a little while?" 

"For a while, but I want all of you." 

Will put on a smile. "What else do you need to know other than I can cook and am spectacular in bed?" 

Don smiled wryly at him. "All of you, Will Stevens. All of you." 

"We'll see." Will reached for his discarded shirt. His hands were shaking. They both finished getting dressed. 

Don came over and put his arms around Will. "You've got to remember that I already know things about you, things that might bother other people, but I still love you. I still want to be with you." He tightened his arms around Will. "I promise not to push, _aein_. Whenever you're ready." 

Will knew he would never be ready. 

"I mean," Don said, with deliberate cheerfulness, "I don't even know if you like basketball. How could I possibly be with a guy that didn't like basketball?" 

Will forced himself to relax and put his arms around Don as well. "Sure, I like basketball. Playing more than watching, though. Know what I really like to play that I never get to play? Beach volleyball." 

Don's face lost its tightness and his smile was genuine. "You mean, volleyball in the sand in bikinis?" 

"I don't usually wear a bikini. That's the women. Men get to wear comfortable trunks. Totally unfair." 

"I agree," Don said. "I think you should be forced to wear a tiny little Speedo." He shook his head. "Then again, I don't want anyone else to see you like that. Bouncing around in the sand in a Speedo…" 

Will chuckled. "Swimming, I like swimming too. I promise to wear a Speedo." 

"Oh, good." Don's eyes went to the clock and he groaned. "Time to get going. My place tonight. I'm afraid you're going to have to bring everything but the beer." 

"Are you kidding?" Will said. "I have to bring the beer, too. I've seen what you drink." 

"Beer snob," Don teased. 

"I'll get you there, too," Will replied. "I'm thinking enchiladas for tonight. How spicy do you like your food?" 

"I don't know." Don shrugged. "Medium?" 

"We'll figure that out, too," Will smiled. "I'll have to experiment." 

"We'll figure it all out," Don said firmly. "You and me? We'll figure it all out." 

Will sighed and hugged Don tight. Don lived in such a hopeful, positive world. Will didn't want to bring any more of his darkness to it, but it was inevitable. He wouldn't be able to help himself. He wouldn't be able to help telling Don more truths. He wouldn't being able to help pushing Don's limits until they snapped. He wouldn't be able to help screwing this up. 

_One week, Stevens. Keep your dreams small._

He took a long look at the man currently in his arms. "Until tonight, then," 


	23. 48 Hour Mark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don and Will experience an evening of their new normal.

  


**Part 23: 48 Hour Mark**

Don kept his promise about not pushing Will to reveal more about himself. After another long day at work - Will had never been so relieved to get out of there without an undercover assignment - he went to the grocery store and then to his own house. He didn't know what Don had to cook with so he prepped the enchiladas at home. He made chicken enchiladas with poblano sauce, from a recipe that he'd learned from a lovely Mexican woman while undercover spying on her son. He thought about her whenever he made it and hoped she didn't hate him too much for sending her son to jail. Someone might think that she'd be happy that her son was gone, considering how he used to beat her viciously, but Will knew it wasn't that simple. 

The pan of enchiladas on the seat next to him, he pulled into the parking lot at Don's apartment. It was a good thing he always had a book in his car because he had to hang out a while to wait for Don to come home. When Don arrived, he looked embarrassed and said he didn't have any extra apartment keys. Will assumed that he'd given them out to all his women over the years. 

In the apartment, Will set to cleaning out Don's oven then inventorying his meager cooking tools. Will thought he had a few spare things he could leave here, but wasn't sure how to ask. Then Don went ahead and suggested it and Will was happy to agree. 

When he was satisfied with the kitchen prep, Will and Don had sex on Don's couch. This time Will was able to fuck Don without hesitation and it was dynamite, as usual. He was quickly becoming addicted to all the little things about sex with Don - how Don's ass gripped his cock, how Don's face flushed when he was near orgasm, the smiles and kisses that were as warm after sex as they were before. 

Will left Don recovering on the floor while he put the enchiladas into cook. He found a towel for Don and got dressed, then had to tease Don until he finally got off the floor and got dressed himself. Will wouldn't mind sharing a meal in the nude with Don, but on more comfortable chairs than Don's old kitchen ones. 

Don seemed to like the enchiladas as much as the meal the night before, though he thought the IPA that Will served with it was too bitter. Will cataloged that information and decided next time he'd try something Italian with a lighter beer. Will even startled himself by sharing the story of the enchilada recipe, and Don responded with his own stories of dealing with the families of criminals. There was certainly something to being with a fellow Fed. No one outside law enforcement would really understand how complicated and messy cases got. 

Will had made a double batch of enchiladas, so, although Don made a serious effort to eat it all, Will succeeded in having leftovers. Will got a strange thrill seeing his leftover cooking sealed up and put in Don's nearly empty fridge. 

After dinner, Don shyly offered a game of chess, saying that he wasn't that good but it might be fun. They turned on a baseball game while they played a couple of matches and Don was much better than he gave himself credit for. Will wasn't surprised that Don was good or that Don didn't consider himself good because he had his genius brother to compare himself to. Will was just beginning to understand the impact that Charlie had made, and continued to make, on Don's life. Will tried not to dislike people without meeting them, but Charlie sounded like a self-absorbed prima donna. Don, of course, never described him that way, but Don was too generous. 

When Will won two out of three matches, he claimed his winnings in a killer blowjob from Don. Will would never get tired of the sight of Don Eppes between his knees, his eyes locked with Will's as he sucked Will just right. 

They climbed into bed together afterwards and held each other while watching a late night sport's show. Don mumbled that he loved Will just before he began to snore and Will kissed his head and turned off the TV. 

As he held Don, Will contemplated the changes in his life over the last 48 hours. Two days ago he had been so sure he could remove Don from his life, dig out that bullet buried in the cement. Now even the idea that he might have missed out on the last 48 hours gave Will a sick feeling in his stomach. He thanked the alignment of stars that had brought them to the right place at the right time in the right frame of mind. He thanked Don's determination in saying and doing things that Will didn't have the nerve to. He even thanked his DEA coworkers for getting them out of the bar and moving, even though he'd never admit it to them. 

It was time to stop looking to the future and ride this runaway train until it went off the rails. It would be a hell of a ride and even if he didn't survive the crash at the end, then it still would have been worth it. Even when things came to their fiery end, Don had already given Will a gift that Will could never repay and would never forget. 

Because tonight, for the first time in his life, the only person he wanted to be was Will Stevens. 


	24. The Hazards of Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will and Don struggle with the promise they made to always tell the truth to each other.
> 
> [Takes place directly after Fic "Truth and Baseball" and between chapters 22 and 23 of Fic "Looking for Love"]

**Part 24: The Hazards of Truth**

In the hours right after the baseball game where they'd sworn truth to each other, Will had to fight not to hold his breath. Any moment now he was sure that Don would break out with the questions. Don was a trained agent and he must have many things he wanted to know about Will. What was the truth about his relationship with his family? Why was he so messed up? Even small seeming questions about his history were huge minefields that Don had no idea he would be walking into. 

But the questions never came. 

After Don got out of the clubhouse, he convinced Will they should get burgers at his favorite burger place. As they ate, Don talked about the burgers and the various times and occasions he'd been to this place. Will was able to smile, eat the burgers, and even laugh at appropriate times, but the burgers could have been cardboard for all he tasted them. After a while, Don got quiet and thoughtful and Will's internal tension grew. 

They took their separate cars to Will's place. Don got two beers from the fridge and they sat on the couch. Don automatically turned on a baseball game, but he didn't seem that interested in it. 

After a few minutes of pretending to drink the beer and watch the game, Don gave up. "Look, Will, I'm sorry I proposed the no-sex thing, okay? I take it back." 

Will blinked. "What?" He'd completely forgotten the challenge that they'd made after the game, of no sex until midnight. At the time, he'd thought it would be fun - lots of foreplay then killer sex at 12:01. 

"I just wanted us to do other things, too," Don said, his voice low. "I guess I miscalculated how much sex was a part of our relationship." 

Will stared at him. "You think I'm upset because we decided not to have sex for a few hours?" 

Don frowned. "But…" 

"You don't remember anything else before that?" 

"Of course, I do," Don snapped. "We swore that we'd always tell truth to each other so you better start explaining right now." 

Will looked at his beer for a moment, took a swallow of it, then set it down. He looked Don square in the eyes. "The truth is that I don't know what the hell I was thinking, promising truth to you. I'm nothing but a bundle of lies wrapped around with façades and personas. You start unraveling the lies and I… I don't think there will be anything left." 

Don's eyes softened. "Do you love me?" 

"Yes!" 

"Then there's nothing really important that you've lied about." 

"But…" 

"It's not a retroactive promise," Don said. "Just going forward. I don't expect you to 'unravel' your whole life for me, right now. Just when something comes up, don't lie to me from now on, okay?" 

"But…" 

Don arched his eyebrows. "Is your name really Will Stevens? You still work for the DEA?" 

"Yeah…" 

"I know you don't wear a corset or padding to get that physique. Wait, is that your natural hair color?" 

Will chuckled faintly. 

"I promised you a few days ago that I wouldn't push, remember?" 

Will had to nod to that. Don had indeed promised, and he hadn't pushed. 

"I'm not all great underneath, either, okay?" Don said. "Nobody is." 

Will started to reply, but Don cut him off. "And before you start saying that you're so much worse underneath than everyone else, I'm going to say Bullshit, okay? You're a good guy, Will. There's no doubt of that." 

Will pressed his lips together. Don sighed and reached for his beer. Will took another drink of his as well, stalling in the hope that something useful would occur to him. He'd promised Don truth, so didn't he have the obligation to make Don understand what a bad deal Will was? 

A song lyric came to his mind and he murmured, "'Oh, baby I'm broken, there's a price you're gonna pay.'" 

"What's that?" Don asked. 

"Song lyric," Will said. "'Oh, baby I'm broken, there's a price you're gonna pay, but you jumped in the fire and you saved me anyway.'" He added, "Song from Kasey Chambers. Aussie singer." 

Don smiled. "That's you, jumping in the fire and saving me anyway." 

Will shook his head. "I was talking about me, about being broken." 

"You're not broken," Don protested. 

"Yes, I am," Will leaned his cheek against Don's hair, not wanting to look at his face. "I really am." 

"I was the one who was almost dead by stupidity twice," Don said. 

"Unless there's something I'm really missing, you were fundamentally sound before the last year's shocks." Will sighed. "I haven't been since… I never have been." 

Don sat up straight and turned to look at him. "What are you trying to say?" 

Will put his hand on Don's arm. "I'm just trying to warn you. I'm not a good deal." 

"I haven't had a successful relationship in years," Don said, his eyebrows drawing down. "But I'm willing to try. Are you not even willing to try?" 

"I'm willing to try," Will said. "I just don't know if it will be enough. I…" He stopped and swallowed. "I have never been enough. In any relationship." 

"I never have either," Don said. "I've tried, even got engaged once, but my relationships always fall apart." 

Will looked down at his hands. He didn't correct Don that he hadn't just meant romantic relationships, but any relationship with any other human being. "Not like me."   
  
Don snapped, "Will, do you want this or not?" 

Will's eyes flashed back up. "I want this. More than I've ever wanted anything before." 

Don stared at him hard for a moment, then relaxed. "Yeah." He leaned back against the couch, against Will. "Yeah. And we're going to make that enough." 

"Maybe…" 

"It's going to be enough," Don said, his voice stiffening into command. "I don't care how broken you think you are, Will…" 

"I _am_ broken." 

"…it's nothing compared to how much I love you, and I hope how much you love me." 

"I do love you, more than I could ever have imagined, but…" 

Don turned and put his hand on Will's face. "Okay, Stevens, I have a feeling that this is a conversation we're going to be having a lot. I've said everything that needs to be said but I'll keep saying it again and again until you believe it - I love you, all of you, no matter what." 

"I…" Will begin then stopped and closed his eyes. 

Don waited for a moment, but Will managed not to argue any more. 

"I guess that's a start," Don said gently. He reached over, turned off the TV, and took the beer from Will's hand. "Let's go to bed and watch the game in there." 

Will opened his eyes and summoned a faint smile from somewhere. "Putting yourself in danger of breaking the no-sex pact, are you?" 

"You've completely forgotten what you said to me earlier," Don said. "It confused me when I thought you were upset that we couldn't have sex, because of what you had said." 

"What did I say?" 

"That if you never even touched me again, that you'd still love me and want to be around me." 

"It's true." 

"For me, too, _aein_ ," Don said. "Though I'd really like to just hold you right now, if that would be okay." 

Will nodded, his throat tight. They put away their beer bottles, turned off the lights and went into the bedroom. There they both shed all of their clothes and climbed into bed. They got the pillows set up, turned on the TV, and curled up against each other. 

After a while, Will began to relax into their familiar, comfortable silence. He'd almost drifted off to sleep when Don said quietly, "You don't understand." 

"Hmm?" 

"You don't understand that I fear gotchas in your past a lot less than I fear the future." 

Will blinked himself back awake. "What future?" 

"When you move on to bigger, better things, bigger, better people. I've always been a way-station to someone else, especially my-" He cut himself off and started again. "I'm afraid that I'm really only good for…temporary fun." 

Will realized that Don was circling back around to something he'd said earlier, about never having a successful relationship. It was a concern that he'd brought up, and Will had been too engrossed his own failings to reassure him. 

Will put his hand on Don's arm. "There is no bigger, better things than you. I've looked far and wide. And if you want this relationship to work…" 

"I do." 

"Then you can make it work." 

"But what if there's some deficiency in me, some inability to commit?" 

Will bit back the urge to argue that he was the deficient one. He needed to stop thinking so much about himself. "You're able to commit." 

"Really? My dad would argue otherwise." 

"Maybe not to a person before, to a relationship, but you commit to your job, whole-heartedly. And you commit to your family." 

Don nodded slightly, then he gave Will a small smile. "Are you saying what my dad has been saying all along, that I just hadn't met the right person before?" 

Will smiled back. "Your dad sounds like a very wise man." 

"He is." 

"If you want me, if you…" Will swallowed then forced himself to say it. "If you continue to want me, going forward, then I have no doubt you can commit to me." 

"I will always want to be with you," Don said. "I just…" He gave a wry laugh. "God, we're a pair." 

Will squeezed his shoulder. "Yes, we are." 

Don lay back into Will's arms. "I'm going to try to stop worrying and enjoy the ride." 

"Me, too." Will wrapped his arms around Don. Silently, he swore that was what he would do. There were trials and tests coming, no doubt, but they'd made it through a full week together and they'd only gotten stronger. Don had already proven that he could handle Will's neediness and moods. Don was opening up to him and he was opening up to Don and they were quickly, surely weaving together like nothing he'd ever experienced. 

Don gave a deep sigh and settled completely against Will. "Good night, babe." 

"Good night, my love." Will closed his eyes and let himself dream about the future. 


	25. One Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Big time jump!   
> Will looks back at one incredible, life-altering year.
> 
> [Takes place a year after the baseball game in "Looking for Love", all the way after "Return to Watson" and the "Jewelry" mini-series, but before "Undercover".]

**Part 25: One Year**

Will threw his final warmup pitch and straightened up. 

Simon came up from his catcher's crouch and walked over to where he stood on the bullpen pitching mound. 

"Not bad," Simon said, pulling up his facemask. "I wasn't sure how rusty you'd be, considering how little pitching you've done in the past year." 

"Been busy," Will said with a smile. 

"I'll say!" Simon said. "Never seen a single guy move so fast to being… very unsingle." 

Will laughed, then added with a wiggle of his eyebrows. " _Very_ busy. You have no idea." 

"And I don't want any idea!" Simon said. "Thank you very much!" 

Will laughed again and Simon left the bullpen, smiling and shaking his head. Will leaned on the fence and looked out across the baseball diamond. A year. Had it really been a year already? Had it really been _just_ a year? 

The Will who had warmed up to pitch to the FBI a year ago seemed like a foreign person. He had been angry, closed, terrified. Now he was… okay, somewhat less angry, closed and terrified. And it was all due to one wonderful man. 

He looked over to the infield, where Don Eppes was swinging a bat around his shoulders. It was hard to even remember what he'd been thinking when he'd seen Don that day a year ago. An incredible yearning, yes. But also an absolute belief that he could get Don out of his system with just a little work. Now he knew that he could never get Don out of his system - and never wanted to. 

He reached up to his ears and touched the diamond studs that twinkled there. They said, loud and clear, this man is marked 'off limits.' He'd got a lot of ribbing from his DEA team about the earrings, but they still gave him a little thrill every time he remembered them - and the matching ones in Don's ears. 

Images of the last year tumbled over him - Don kissing him and outing himself to his entire FBI office. The surprise and pleasure on Don's face when he had fucked Coop's virgin ass. Don laughing at Will's failed attempts to make a decent soufflé. Dancing with Don in the sweaty, darkness of a gay club. Don intervening in a fight between Will and his mom when he'd first met Will's family. Teaching Don how real BDSM worked. Don half-dressed in his baseball uniform and bent over the front of Will's SUV. Playing basketball on their newly installed hoop after Don had moved in. Don shivering in the shower when they'd roleplayed it being Don's first time. Don in a dress. Coming home to meet a very large cat. 

Most recently, of Don finally powerfully dominating Will, like Will had always wanted him to. The marks had lasted a week but the memory of Don in Special Agent mode would last him a lot longer. 

Some of the images and memories were not as pleasant - Colby throwing Will out of the house because he'd taken Nena to a gun range. Miscalculating when Don asked him to roleplay Ian Edgerton. His brutal retribution on Channing, the evil Dom who'd nearly killed Don. Matt, shut-down, shaking and rocking in the parking lot, when Will and Don had pushed him too hard about his relationship with David. Arguing with Don about his constant stream of ex-girlfriends. Finally revealing to Don some of his dark sexual history. Having to deal with Don going to Megan for help in understanding Will and tracking down the teacher that had sexually abused him in high school. Coming home after a devastating case and taking it out on Don's body. 

Surprisingly, however, the bulk of the last year had been positive, despite his constant and determined efforts to sabotage things. Good thing that Don was even more stubborn and determined than he was. He'd thought that their relationship was a runaway train that he would ride until its inevitable crash. That train had somehow managed to stay on the tracks, until it finally began to slow from breakneck speed to just blazingly fast. Simon was right in commenting about how fast Will had gone from single to as committed a relationship as possible for two gay men. 

The rest of his life had undergone radical changes as well. His eyes drifted away from Don and across the infield, where the rest of the FBI team was warming up, doing stretches and casual throwing. So many of those people were his friends now. 

Will had to grin. So many of them had also been his lovers. That weekend in Watson had definitely been the best orgy he'd ever participated in, and he'd participated in a great many in his life. He watched Colby stretch, remembering wrestling him until he won the right to fuck him. There was David, over by the fence. Sex with him had been a half-physical, half-psychological balancing act. And Charlie, standing with his clipboard next to the FBI dugout… That had been quite a ride, trying to please two Eppes at once. He had been able to give Charlie a taste of real subbing, but hadn't been cautious enough with what that would do to Don. It had all come out all right in the end, though, with a massive 5-way, then everyone going home happy with their partners. 

Will's eyes snagged on Liz, who was now playing third base for the FBI. The sex with her and Don together had been an entirely different story. For Will it had been… rather unpleasant, but Don and Liz had loved it. Will was glad they'd done it, though, because it had knocked another spike off of Will's endlessly spiky ball of fear that Don was going to leave him. Don had enjoyed sex with a woman again, the first after his discovery of his bisexuality, and it hadn't made him realize that gay sex wasn't good enough after all. In fact, Don had made it very clear that he'd liked being with Liz _because_ Will was there too. He loved being sandwiched between Will and Liz. 

Will pulled his eyes and thoughts away from Liz, and turned his thoughts at least to his much preferred three-way companion. Coop hadn't been by many times, but every time had been amazing. And Coop hadn't taken Don away from him either. Will had even felt confident enough to encourage Coop and Don to get together once without him, out in the field when Don had really needed a submission fix. Don had come home to him afterwards, happy, whole and still completely his. Will hoped Coop would stop by their place again soon. 

Will turned and looked over to the stands. More of his extended family as sitting out there. That was one of the strangest and most wonderful things about the last year. He'd not only become one half of a solid couple, he'd become part of a family. There was Alan, his amazingly understanding and wise almost father-in-law. They'd had their issues, but somehow they'd come through. The High Holy Days and the forgiveness they'd brought had been a stroke of genius on Alan's part - or a stroke of desperation. Regardless, they had become a more tight-knit family because of it. Some of the reason for the conflict - and the resolution - sat next to Alan, wearing an Angels baseball cap. Nena was bouncing up and down, looking like she wanted to rush out onto the diamond and warm up for the game with the teams. Will had long ago decided that kids weren't going to be part of his life, so having a 'niece' that he was so involved with was an unexpected - and unexpectedly wonderful - bonus to his relationship with Don. Even in the stands was Matt, sitting apart from the others, his whole posture fully focused on David. Will could only see heartbreak in the future of that relationship, but he hoped he was wrong. He'd certainly been wrong about enough things in the last year. 

Had it really been just a year? 

"Helloo, Will," Simon said. 

Will blinked and looked over at him. 

"Planning on pitching anytime today?" Simon grinned. "I swear, every time we play the FBI, you're worthless." 

"Ha," Will said, straightening up. "I'll show you worthless. I have a year's supply of fastballs saved up and you're going to have to catch every one of them." 

Simon laughed. "I bet you've been using those fastballs with… balling your…" Simon flushed and trailed off, unable to complete the pun about gay sex. 

Will laughed out loud and picked up his glove. 

Still flushing, Simon opened the fence and went out onto the diamond. The rest of the DEA team was already out on the field. 

Will followed him slowly, savoring the moment. 

As he came out of the pen, he got some waves and cheering from the stand. He waved back to Nena and Alan, though he bet they'd be rooting for the FBI. When he reached the mound, he accepted a few catcalls from the FBI dugout with a grin. Colby called out something about a 'drug dog' and that got good-natured insults flying between the teams. Everyone laughed when Sanchez, Will's boss, told everyone to stop being so juvenile, then followed it up with a particularly good zinger. 

Simon settled in at home plate and Will got in his last few warm-up pitches. He felt ready. He stepped off the rubber and looked over at the FBI dugout. He remembered how a year ago he'd been afraid to even look in that direction. Don's eyes met his and Don smiled with that eye-crinkling smile that still did amazing things to Will's heartrate. Will grinned back and touched the bill of his baseball cap in a tiny salute. Don's grin widened and he saluted back. 

After the game was planned a big BBQ at the Eppes house, with both teams invited, no matter who won. It wasn't just Simon who knew that this was a sort of anniversary for Will and Don. Will's ribs were already at the house, marinating, and Charlie better not try and grill them before Will got there. He hoped the chocolate cake he'd put in the fridge wouldn't have too many Nena fingerprints in it before he was able to serve it. 

Then after the BBQ, they would go home together, to the house they shared, to their weird and wonderful cat, to their always warm bed. Nothing was better than that. 

Will nodded one last time at Don, then stepped back onto the rubber again and prepared to pitch. Simon pounded his glove and held it out. The umpire yelled to 'Play Ball.' 

Settling himself, Will sent the first few balls to the plate. He got out the first two FBI batters, Jackson and Megan, without too much trouble. His hard-won pitching skills didn't seem to have completely deserted him. Don was up third. Simon walked the ball back to the pitcher's mound after the second out, giving Will a chance to meet Don's eyes and exchange another quick, energy-filling smile with him. Don's face went back to serious and Will took the ball from Simon with a thank-you. 

Simon returned to home plate and got down in his crouch. Don swung his bat one more time and stepped into the batter's box. 

Will examined Don, the person who had so changed everything. Don didn't look that different than he had a year ago. Did Will? Or were the monumental changes in his life invisible? No, he knew that his posture, his body language, yelled loudly that here was a man who in love, deeply in love in a way that few people ever experienced. 

Will got the pitch sign from Simon and nodded. He narrowed his eyes, gripped the ball in his glove, and steadied himself. He took the whole last year and gathered in all together into one incredible lump - then set it aside. 

He stared down at Don Eppes. 

He stared down at the most wonderful man in the world, the love of his life, his one and only _aein_. 

And prepared to strike him out. 


End file.
